Librarian Jokes

What were the political views of the librarian?

She wanted open borders.

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Why are librarians so shy?

Their occupation makes them very shelf conscious.

How do librarians file melted marshmallows?

A: According to the Gooey Decimal System.

Why are librarians so lonely?

They're always by them shelves Just wanted to see if that library joke checked out Sorry for all the library jokes, I'll put them on hold

Why do librarians like the wind?

It says, "Shhh!" all day!

Why do you want to be a librarian?

Me: "I like telling people to be quiet."

What did the book say to the librarian?

Can I take you out

What did the librarian say to the travel agent?

Find what you're booking for

Why did the librarian hush the mime?

Because actions speak louder than words.

How many librarians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

I don't know but I can look it up for you."

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Shhh Jokes More Shhh Jokes

Why are you wrapping me up like a burrito & how did you find a tortilla this big?

Me: Shhh! This is my fantasy & burritos don't talk.

Why do librarians like the wind?

It says, "Shhh!" all day!

Student Jokes More Student Jokes

What did the Christan principal say when she kicked a student out of school?

THE POWER OF CHRIST EXPELS YOU.

What is science?

Student: Me Ma'am! Me! Teacher: Ok Pedro! What is science Student: science is our Lesson for today.

Look Jokes More Look Jokes

What's the difference between a golf ball and a G spot?

A man will spend 20 minutes looking for a golf ball.

What is Checkmate?

You tell your Wife, "I saw a lady, looked exactly like you" Wife asks, "WAS SHE BEAUTIFUL?" You cant say 'NO' You cant say 'YES' That is Checkmate!

File Jokes More File Jokes

What format do Emo's prefer to compress files?

RAR

What do you call a hard drive in a hydraulic press?

File compression

Use Jokes More Use Jokes

Why did the school principal forbid the use of true/false tests?

It was part of the school's anti Boolean campaign.

What do rappers use to wash their clothes?

BLEEE-AAAACH!

Check Jokes More Check Jokes

Where does a salmon go to deposit a check?

To the river bank!

What if the missing plane is still up there?

What " Did you check the sky "No." See, this is why you'll never advance, Kevin.

Action Jokes More Action Jokes

What do you call the action where a dead guy falls out of a car and you have to put him back in?

A rehearsal

What do you call an action of copyright law against a ghost?

An exor- .

Fall Jokes More Fall Jokes

How do you call 4 blacks in a car falling off the cliff?

A waste. You could fit 1 more in the trunk.

How's someone just gonna fall asleep while committing a felony?

smh