Librarian Jokes

What were the political views of the librarian?

She wanted open borders.

Couple's Daily Question Mug

Couple's Daily Question Mug

Coffee Mug

Why are librarians so shy?

Their occupation makes them very shelf conscious.

How do librarians file melted marshmallows?

A: According to the Gooey Decimal System.

Why are librarians so lonely?

They're always by them shelves Just wanted to see if that library joke checked out Sorry for all the library jokes, I'll put them on hold

Why do librarians like the wind?

It says, "Shhh!" all day!

Why do you want to be a librarian?

Me: "I like telling people to be quiet."

What did the book say to the librarian?

Can I take you out

What did the librarian say to the travel agent?

Find what you're booking for

Why did the librarian hush the mime?

Because actions speak louder than words.

How many librarians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

I don't know but I can look it up for you."

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Find Jokes More Find Jokes

What did the Swedish chef say to his girlfriend when he found out she was pregnant?

Abort - Bort - Bort!

What did the chemist say when he found out his two pet dogs died?

Barium

Look Jokes More Look Jokes

How did the urologist ruin his Christmas?

OC He looked inside Santa's sack.

What is the worst thing you want to hear from a doctor giving you a prostate exam?

Look ma, no hands!"

Non Friction Section Jokes More Non Friction Section Jokes

Where can you find lubricant in the library?

In the non-friction section.

Why did the librarian slip and fall on the library floor?

A: Because she was in the non-friction section.

Mime Jokes More Mime Jokes

What did the mime say to the wall?

Tough getting by these days .

Why did the librarian hush the mime?

Because actions speak louder than words.

Detention Jokes More Detention Jokes

Why did the robot get detention?

Because he was accused of Boolean.

What is "attempted theft" exactly?

I mean it's not like you see school librarians seeing a student use Wikipedia on one of the computers and puts them in detention for "attempted plagiarism"

Use Jokes More Use Jokes

What has 2 legs but doesn't use them?

A man named Bob running down a train track (only Asians will understand)

What device did Jared Fogle use to keep track of his exercise progresswhen he lost over 200 pounds on the Subway diet?

A pedometer

Speak Jokes More Speak Jokes

What language do teapots speak?

Teabrew.

What language do lesbians speak?

Gaelic.

Accord Jokes More Accord Jokes

What was the #1 summer blockbuster, according to Cat Fancy magazine?

Mad Manx: Furry Road

Why was Edward unable to get out of Russia?

Because he was Snowd en! (according to my friends this joke has been around for awhile, but I hadn't seen it yet, and wanted to share the goof)