Action Jokes

What would happen if James Bond took Viagra?

He would continue to be a state-sponsored terrorist whose actions disgrace us all.

This joke may have profanity.

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What do you call an action of copyright law against a ghost?

An exor- .

What's the difference between feminism and Islam?

One is demonized by the actions and beliefs of a small minority. The other believes in the wage gap myth.

Why don't baseball players get much action?

Because they have foul balls.

What kind of court order would be placed on a pig in order to prevent it from taking a specific course of action?

A: An inj-oink-tion.

What do you call the action of a banker buying weed?

A dank transaction

Why did the jellyfish's wife leave him?

He stung her into action.

What do you call the action where a dead guy falls out of a car and you have to put him back in?

A rehearsal

Why did the librarian hush the mime?

Because actions speak louder than words.

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Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What is the difference between a laddie and a lady?

One has a d where the other doesn't.

What's the difference between a toilet and a graveyard?

Nothing. When you have to go, you have to go.

Believe Jokes More Believe Jokes

Why are there no owls here?

I WAS LEAD TO BELIEVE THERE WOULD BE OWLS HERE! #hooters

What kind of magic do cows believe in?

MOODOO.

Small Jokes More Small Jokes

What's the smallest amount of money you would reach into a toilet to get?

Mine is a skittle.

Why did EA remove gender restrictions in The Sims 4?

They're just doing their small part, because EA loves micro trans actions.

Kind Jokes More Kind Jokes

What kind of company is a 24 hours hamburger joint?

Fry-by-night!

What kind of erection does a burn victim get?

Firewood.

Kathmandu Jokes More Kathmandu Jokes

What city does Affirmative Action Aslan live?

Kathmandu.

What's the opposite of Kathmandu?

Dogwomandon't.

Feminism Jokes More Feminism Jokes

What are the three kinds of women's cancer?

1. Breast Cancer 2. Ovarian Cancer 3. Feminism

When does feminism end?

When Islam begins.

Music Jokes More Music Jokes

What type of music does the Easter Bunny listen to?

Hip-Hop!

What kind of music do planets listen to?

Nep-tunes.

Place Jokes More Place Jokes

What's your emer- She said don't get her anything for Valentine's Day! 911: And you didn't?

No! 911: Placing you in protective custody.

What did the guy from Northern Canada have to say about the place?

He wanted Nunavut.