Action Jokes

What would happen if James Bond took Viagra?

He would continue to be a state-sponsored terrorist whose actions disgrace us all.

This joke may have profanity.

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What do you call an action of copyright law against a ghost?

An exor- .

What's the difference between feminism and Islam?

One is demonized by the actions and beliefs of a small minority. The other believes in the wage gap myth.

Why don't baseball players get much action?

Because they have foul balls.

What kind of court order would be placed on a pig in order to prevent it from taking a specific course of action?

A: An inj-oink-tion.

What do you call the action of a banker buying weed?

A dank transaction

Why did the jellyfish's wife leave him?

He stung her into action.

What do you call the action where a dead guy falls out of a car and you have to put him back in?

A rehearsal

Why did the librarian hush the mime?

Because actions speak louder than words.

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Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What is the difference between wealth and poverty?

And the dad says: 'Wealth is caviar, champagne and women. Poverty is hot pocket, beer and your mother!'

What's the difference between a rooster and a lawyer?

The rooster's primal urge is to cluck defiance.

Belief Jokes More Belief Jokes

What do you call the belief that one kind of shoe is better than another?

Shoepremacy.

What's the difference between feminism and Islam?

One is demonized by the actions and beliefs of a small minority. The other believes in the wage gap myth.

Islam Jokes More Islam Jokes

Why do you call someone who doesn't like the ideas in Islam?

A Racist!

Why does Islam get angry if you criticize their religion?

Im not sure they always seem to blow things up out of proportion.

Base Jokes More Base Jokes

How do you get the walls of your house as bright as they can possibly be?

Use LED based paint.

Why don't they tell jokes in base 8?

Because seven ten eleven!

Formula Jokes More Formula Jokes

What do you get if you ask a former presidential candidate to write a piece of music about a formula for solving a problem based on a sequence of specified actions?

An algorithm.

What is the formula for water ?

George: HIJKLMNO Teacher: Is that the formula I gave you George: Sure you said H to O !

Music Jokes More Music Jokes

What type of music do lightning bolts listen to?

Rock and Roll

What was Sisyphus's favourite type of music?

Rock 'n' Roll

Live Jokes More Live Jokes

What kind of house does a stoned loaf of bread live in?

A high rise

Where does Dracula live?

Monte Cristo

Piece Jokes More Piece Jokes

Why did the pro football player from the last-place team drop pieces of hamburger into his soup?

He wanted to know how it felt to take part in a Soup-er Bowl!

What do you call the outer edge of a piece of bread that has been toasted?

Crusty