Lifespan Jokes

How do you estimate your kids lifespan?

Hand them a mechanical pencil with the lead out and see how the use it. Child A: look mom I'm a doctor! - expect them to live to 80+ years. Child B: look mom I'm a heroin user! - expect them to live to about 27.

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What is the lifespan of an owl?

6 1/2 books.

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6 12 Book Jokes More 6 12 Book Jokes

How long can an Owl live?

6 1/2 books...

What is the lifespan of an owl?

6 1/2 books.

Kid Jokes More Kid Jokes

What did Lochte say after his teammates told the police what really happened?

and I would have gotten away with it if it weren't for you medaling kids!"

What's the difference between a kid and a joke?

A kid can joke but a joke cannot kid.

Look Jokes More Look Jokes

How do you tell the time in the US?

By looking at a bomb

Where is the lost city of Atlantis?

Lantis. I can't believe nobody has thought to look there yet.

Lead Jokes More Lead Jokes

Why did the paper follow the pencil?

Because it LED THE WAY! I'm on a roll here! this is fun! Skip

What is the leading cause of dry skin?

Bath towels...

Average Lifespan Jokes More Average Lifespan Jokes

What is the average lifespan of an owl?

A little over 6 books.

What's the average lifespan of an owl?

About six and a half books.

Expect Jokes More Expect Jokes

What did the redditor say when he opened his package from the UniBomber?

Wow, I did not expect this post to blow up

Who remembers the 2016 presidential race?

Nobody expected that late run from Gonzalez, did they?

Use Jokes More Use Jokes

What kind of laundry detergent do handicapped people use?

Downy. I apologize for this one, it's pretty mean. I really do sympathize with handicapped people.

Why do New Zealand farmers now wear kilts?

Because the sheep have gotten used to the sound of zippers

Half Jokes More Half Jokes

What's mostly red and has 2 legs?

Half of a cat.

What's worse than biting an apple and finding a worm?

biting an apple and finding half a worm