Lifespan Jokes

How do you estimate your kids lifespan?

Hand them a mechanical pencil with the lead out and see how the use it. Child A: look mom I'm a doctor! - expect them to live to 80+ years. Child B: look mom I'm a heroin user! - expect them to live to about 27.

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What is the lifespan of an owl?

6 1/2 books.

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6 12 Book Jokes More 6 12 Book Jokes

How long can an Owl live?

6 1/2 books...

What is the lifespan of an owl?

6 1/2 books.

Half Book Jokes More Half Book Jokes

What's the average lifespan of an owl?

About six and a half books.

How long do owls live?

Six and a half books.

27 Jokes More 27 Jokes

What do you call a fish with 27 eyes?

Fiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiish

How many skateboarders does it take to change a lightbulb?

One...but it takes him 27 tries

Live Jokes More Live Jokes

Why weren't you at work last week?

Me: Why are you living in the past

Why do women live longer than men?

Shopping never causes heart attacks, but paying the bill does!

Hand Jokes More Hand Jokes

What is a centipedes's favorite Beatle song?

I want to hold your hand, hand, hand, hand...

What's wet and wiggly and says how do you do sixteen times?

Two octopuses shaking hands.

Half Jokes More Half Jokes

Why shouldn't you carry two half dollars in your pocket?

Because two halves make a whole (hole) and you could lose your money.

What if Lady Gaga was half Irish, half Japanese?

Rady O'Gaga

Use Jokes More Use Jokes

Why do girls who use Tumblr work so many odd jobs?

Because they literally can't even.

How do pianists remember which groceries to buy?

They use a Chopin Liszt!

6 12 Jokes More 6 12 Jokes

What is the lifespan of an owl?

6 1/2 books.

How long can an Owl live?

6 1/2 books...