Luck Jokes

When will my baby move?

With any luck, right after it finishes college.

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What did the candle say when he was down on his luck?

A: I'm at wick's end.

Why is a bride always out of luck on her wedding day?

Because she never marries the best man.

Where can I find that "4 Out Of 5 People Get Money In Their Birthday Cards" Birthday Card?

I've been checking online with no luck, unless I'm checking the wrong place

Who's there ! Charles ! Charles who ?

Charles your luck on the lottery !

What did the doctor say to the witch in hospital?

With any luck you'll be able to get up for a spell.

What do you call a stoner that complains about luck?

A Hearthstoner

What is yellow and goes click-click?

A ball-point banana. Witch: Will I lose my looks as I get older Wizard: With luck yes. Witch:

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Leprechaun Jokes More Leprechaun Jokes

What would you get if you crossed the Easter Bunny with a leprechaun?

The Easter Blarney!

What do you say if your peeing in Ireland and spot a leprechaun?

Urine luck

Wrong Place Jokes More Wrong Place Jokes

How do you get herpes viral infection of the eye?

Looking for love in all the wrong places.

How do you get herpes of the eye ball?

Looking for love in all the wrong places.

Money Jokes More Money Jokes

Where does a snowman keep his money?

In a snow bank!

What does Stevie Wonder call his money?

Wonderbread. Anyone want to be my friend

Hospital Jokes More Hospital Jokes

Who's the most popular guy in the hospital?

The Ultra Sound guy. Who is it when he's not there? The Hip Replacement guy.

Why did the cannibal get banned from the hospital?

He kept trying the doctors patients(patience)

Algaebra Jokes More Algaebra Jokes

What did the mermaid wear for good luck on her math test?

Her *algaebra*.

What are eukaryotes' least favorite subject in school?

Algaebra...

Lifetime Jokes More Lifetime Jokes

How many times are you going to lick my nose in your lifetime?

Dog:

What's worse than getting 7 years of bad luck from breaking a mirror?

Getting a lifetime of bad luck from breaking a condom.

5 Jokes More 5 Jokes

Why was Star Wars shot Episodes 4, 5, 6, then 1, 2, 3?

Because in charge of directing, Yoda was

Why couldn't 5 stop drinking?

Because it was 2 turnt up

Urine Jokes More Urine Jokes

What do you say to the guy who just jumped in the septic tank?

Urine over your head!

What did the urologist say to his physician before he hired him?

URINE. I'll let myself out.