Urine Jokes

What did the PEE CLUB SOCIETY said to me on the taster session?

URINE!

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What did the Sewage Worker say to his apprentice?

Urine for a surprise.

What did the urologist say to his physician before he hired him?

URINE. I'll let myself out.

What did the swollen prostate say during the prostatectomy?

I'm out, urine.

What did the toilet say to the pee?

urine

What is 40ft long and smells like urine?

Line dancing at sun city

What did the failing kidney say to the healthy one?

Urine charge now.

What do you say if your peeing in Ireland and spot a leprechaun?

Urine luck

What did the Urologist tell his newly accepted resident?

Urine.

What did R. Kelly say to the teenage girl fan?

Urine for a surprise.

Why do American beer companies always advise that their beer should be served cold?

So you can tell it apart from urine

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What do you say to the guy who just jumped in the septic tank?

Urine over your head!

What would be the movie called if it were about you?

You Yourself &amp Urine.

What's bad about wetting your bed?

Urine it.

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What did the boy pee say to the girl pee?

Urine angel.

What do dads say when they see someone peeing?

European.

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A ham sandwhich walks into a bar and orders a beer. The bartender says...

I'm sorry, we don't serve food here

How are men like carpet tiles?

If you lay them properly the first time around you can walk all over them for the rest of your life.

Use Jokes More Use Jokes

What brand toothbrush do Mexicans use?

Oral-

Why did the mummy stop using the Internet?

He was getting far too wrapped up in it.

Patient Jokes More Patient Jokes

What did the doctor say to the prosecutor?

You're trying my patients!

Why didn't the patient sue the dentist for pulling the wrong tooth?

Because it was accidental.

Urinate Jokes More Urinate Jokes

What do you say to an Italian who is urinating on the sidewalk?

European!

What do the Globetrotters do when they're finished urinating?

The Harlem Shake

Surprise Jokes More Surprise Jokes

What's the definition of a surprise?

A fart with a lump in it

How do you surprise a blind man?

Stick a plunger in the toilet

Man Jokes More Man Jokes

Why didn't the man go to dat place?

Cuz dis-place-ment a lot to him.

What do you call a man who has lost 95% of his brainpower?

A widower.

Let Jokes More Let Jokes

Where are you at?

Me: Before I tell you let's talk about ending sentences with prepositions.

How many dead-heads does it take to change a lightbulb?

None. They just let it burn out and follow it around for twenty years.