Medic Jokes

What do you call two doctors with the same career?

Pair of medics.

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What do you call the medic in a K9 unit?

A dogtor.

What do you call an injured Confederate soldier that can't find a medic?

A rebel without a gauze.

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Price Jokes More Price Jokes

Why did Han go out Black Friday shopping.?

because the prices were Solo

Why was the gourmet upset when he saw the menu?

The prices were gastronomical... (I'll show myself out...)

Hold Jokes More Hold Jokes

Where's the baby?

while holding the baby. I can't believe it was legal for me to reproduce.

Why was the robber bionic?

He was holding up a bank.

Revolve Jokes More Revolve Jokes

How many Narcissists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. But he doesn't screw it in, he just holds it and the world revolves around him.

How many feminists does to take to screw in a lightbulb?

Only one. She stands with the bulb and the world revolves around her.

Buddhist Jokes More Buddhist Jokes

What is the difference between a sociopath and a buddhist?

A sociopath sees people as things a buddhist sees things as people.

Why did the buddhist refuse novocaine when he went to get a tooth pulled?

He wanted to transcend dental medication.

Son Jokes More Son Jokes

How does it feel son?

Astronaut: Feels pretty good to be 33 million miles away from Dave Matthews Band

Why does your son call you big brother?

Because he's your mom's kid.

Doctor Jokes More Doctor Jokes

Why do doctors slap babies bums when then are born?

Because the balls fall off of the stupid ones.

What did the optimist say to his doctor when he found out he had lung cancer?

Well, I'll deal with this asbestos I can!"

Career Jokes More Career Jokes

When do you know that your career has gone south?

When you end up moving to South Korea, of course!

Why was Lara Croft sad?

Because her career was in ruins

Victim Jokes More Victim Jokes

What did the victims of a month-delayed April Fool's prank feel?

Dismay.

What does Bill Cosby have in common with Ninjas?

Their victims never see them coming.