Neurologist Jokes

Why do neurologists think they're God?

Because they can turn any animal into a vegetable!

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What do you call it when a neurologist is found embezzling and he later runs away?

A Fraudian slip.

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Animal Jokes More Animal Jokes

What is it exactly that separates man from animal?

Divorce

What do giraffes have that no other animal has?

A: Baby giraffes.

Vegetable Jokes More Vegetable Jokes

What do scientists and vegetables have in common?

Stephen Hawking

What do you get if you cross a sports reporter with a vegetable ?

A common tater !

God Jokes More God Jokes

How do you make God laugh?

Tell him your plans.

Why does God love atheists?

Because they don't bother Him with incessant prayer.

Turn Jokes More Turn Jokes

Why can't an IT guy be a doctor?

Nurse: Doctor, the patient's life support is acting strange. . . Doctor: Have you tried turning it off and on again?

What do snake charmers do in the rain?

Turn on their windshield vipers.

Quit Jokes More Quit Jokes

Why did the can-crusher quit his job?

Because it was soda pressing.

Why did this adhesive strip quit his work?

He just couldn't tape it anymore..

Find Jokes More Find Jokes

Where do you find a liberal at a convention?

In the far left corner!

What did the mom say when she found out her son was going to be a evil spy?

Abort mission!

Hispanic Jokes More Hispanic Jokes

What do you call an Hispanic gentleman who drives a hybrid car?

A green bean.

What do you call a hispanic man who spilled his nachos?

A messycan

Run Jokes More Run Jokes

Why couldn't Arnold Schwarzenegger run for president?

Because he doesn't do cardio.

What did the fish say when he ran into a wall?

Dam.