Publish Jokes

Why couldn't the physicist get his paper published?

It was a work of friction.

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What did Einstein's dad say when he published his theory of relativity?

Damn, son. It's about time!

Why did the pig send his story to New York?

He wanted to be published on Pork Avenue.

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Damn Jokes More Damn Jokes

What did the atheist say when he found himself at the Pearly Gates the day he died?

Well I'll be damned!

What did the fish say when it hit the wall?

Dam.

Time Jokes More Time Jokes

What did one frog say.to the other?

Time's sure fun when you're having flies!

How did the hour and minute hands of the clock get cancer?

Second hand smoking! My own joke that I've been meaning to put up for a while. Time to see how it goes haha.

Pig Jokes More Pig Jokes

What does a pig use to write his term papers with?

Pen and Oink!

What did the dog say to the pig?

You are such a bore."

Theory Jokes More Theory Jokes

What did Einstein's dad say when he published his theory of relativity?

Damn, son. It's about time!

What is the theory behind Brownian motion of sperms?

It's testicle physics.

Lightbulb Jokes More Lightbulb Jokes

How many abstract artists does it to screw in a lightbulb?

A fish!

How many US cops does it take to change a lightbulb?

None, they arrest the room because it's black.

Hand Jokes More Hand Jokes

What does the torch represent in the hand of the Statue of Liberty?

The torch is a symbol of her inability to read in the dark.

What do you get when you put your hand in a blender?

A hand shake.

Physicist Jokes More Physicist Jokes

What do you call a physicist who makes lets play videos?

Quarkiplier

Why couldn't the physicist get his paper published?

It was a work of friction.

New York Jokes More New York Jokes

What's Al-Qaeda's favorite American football team?

The New York jets.

How can you tell if someone is from New York?

They always talk about how they're from New York.