Queen England Jokes

What book does the Queen of England read to get herself into a raunchy mood?

50 Shades of Earl Grey

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What kind of umbrella does the Queen of England carry on a rainy day?

A wet one.

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Umbrella Jokes More Umbrella Jokes

Why does Snoop Dogg carry an umbrella?

A: fo drizzle b: fo shizzle C: fo nizzle D: fo bizzle

Why did Snoop Dogg bring an umbrella?

Fo Drizzle.

Carry Jokes More Carry Jokes

Why do stoners carry lighters everywhere?

Because they don't have legs to walk, man.

How do you do that?

I carry my laptop outside and if it gets wet I know it's raining!

Earl Grey Jokes More Earl Grey Jokes

Why didn't Karl Marx like Earl Grey tea?

Because all proper tea is theft.

Why did Karl Marx dislike Earl Grey?

Because all proper tea is theft.

Queen Jokes More Queen Jokes

How do you make the king leer?

Put the queen in a bikini! (From krusty the klown)

Who's gonna be the next queen of R&ampB?

I don't know yet but she's gonna be Beyondce!

Read Jokes More Read Jokes

Why are so many racist jokes about black people?

Because black people can't read. Duh. I'll show myself out.

What do mathematicians read for fun?

conics

Rainy Day Jokes More Rainy Day Jokes

What kind of umbrella does the Queen of England carry on a rainy day?

A wet one.

Why don't ghosts like rainy days?

Because it dampens their souls!!!!

England Jokes More England Jokes

What is the most romantic city in England?

Loverpool!

How do you get two whales in a car?

Start in England and drive West.

Book Jokes More Book Jokes

How does a lawyer sleep?

First he lies on one side, then he lies on the other. Credit: Nicholas Sparks from his book 'See Me' which I am reading now.

How many books can a blind man read?

Brailly any!