Stock Jokes

What did the bad soccer announcer get in his stocking?

COOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAL!

Couple's Daily Question Mug

5.0

Coffee Mug

What does an ear of corn hang on his fireplace during Christmas?

A stalk-ing! (A stocking!)

How did the dungeon keeper plan for retirement?

Collecting stocks and bonds.

What do you call an NBA Superstar who's first job was stocking milk?

Legen-dairy*

What did the fireman's wife get for Christmas ?

A ladder in her stocking !

Why did the chicken love Campbell's Soup?

Because his family had stock in the company.

What do you call it when you buy stocks of a clothing company?

A good in-vest-ment

Who was the best financier in the Bible?

Noah. He floated his stock while the whole world was in liquidation.

You might also enjoy:

Christmas Jokes More Christmas Jokes

Why did the Cephalopod get coal for christmas?

Because he was on the nautilust.

Why was the man allergic to Christmas?

Because it's the reason for the sneason.

Feminist Jokes More Feminist Jokes

Why are feminists so good at Street Fighter V?

Because they are always V-triggered

What do feminists search for on scavenger hunts?

Reasons to be offended.

Yesterday Jokes More Yesterday Jokes

What's the best way to see yesterday's front page ?

9GAG

Why can't you lie to an aborted fetus?

It wasn't born yesterday.

People Jokes More People Jokes

How do people at rodeos heckle the riders?

Moooo!

What's math?

people who give 110%

Drummer Jokes More Drummer Jokes

How many drummers does it take to change a lightbulb?

A: None. They have a machine that does that now.

What's the difference between a drummer and publicly traded stock?

Publicly traded stock will mature and make money.

Cost Jokes More Cost Jokes

What's the difference between an expensive purchase and a loud noise that scares a chicken?

One costs an arm and a leg. The other caused alarm and an egg.

Why do LEGO men hate going to hospital...?

Because plastic surgery costs a fortune!

Figure Jokes More Figure Jokes

Why couldn't The Doctor play baseball?

They couldn't figure out Who was on first (Sorry, if this has been submitted before, im new here)

What falls faster from a tree, a leaf or an Emo?

The leaf, the Emo is too depressed to go outside. I saw this joke reposted so many times. I figured I'd mix it up a bit.

Jack Jokes More Jack Jokes

What do you get when einstein jacks off?

a stroke of genius!!!!! (its terrible, i know)

What did terrorist say to my friend Jack?

Hi Jack!