Tv Remote Jokes

What's the difference between a tv remote and a newborn?

You can't play football with the remote.

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Where did all the TV remotes go when you can't find them?

To a remote island...

What do Libyan people put in their TV remotes?

Tripoli batteries.

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Remote Jokes More Remote Jokes

Where is the remote?

All the way over there." "Guess I'm watching this."

Why did the T.V. break up with the remote?

She thought he was too controlling.

Football Jokes More Football Jokes

Why did the architect have his house made backwards?

So he could watch the football

Where do footballers dance?

At a football!

Play Jokes More Play Jokes

What do you call 10 black guys playing basketball ball?

Three on three.

What do you call Kurt Russel playing an archaeologist?

Kurt Fossil

Newborn Jokes More Newborn Jokes

What shatters faster than your smartphone screen?

A newborn with osteoporosis.

How do Chinese pick a name for their newborn?

They kick a Can

Find Jokes More Find Jokes

Where do you go if you want to find a very funny joke?

Apparently, not here

What do you find between Godzilla's toes?

Slow runners.

Remote Control Jokes More Remote Control Jokes

Who do you pat with encouragement when they fail to work?

A Remote control

What is the pinnacle of laziness?

Having a remote control for your remote control.

Turn Jokes More Turn Jokes

What's the best way to get your guitar player to turn down the volume?

Give him the sheet music.

Why is Adam known as the first accountant?

He turned a leaf and made an entry.

Try Jokes More Try Jokes

Why is Yoda Programming full of exceptions ?

Because there is no try.

Why do bagpipers walk when they play?

They're trying to get away from the noise.