Tv Remote Jokes

What's the difference between a tv remote and a newborn?

You can't play football with the remote.

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Where did all the TV remotes go when you can't find them?

To a remote island...

What do Libyan people put in their TV remotes?

Tripoli batteries.

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Vacation Jokes More Vacation Jokes

What did the fog say to the light rain after her vacation?

A. I mist you.

What do you call a terrorist on vacation?

Aloha ackbar

Football Jokes More Football Jokes

Why couldn't Cinderella play football very well?

Her coach was a pumpkin

Whats The Devils Favorite Style Of Football?

Possession

Remote Island Jokes More Remote Island Jokes

What do you do on a remote island?

Try and find the TV island it belongs to.

Where did all the TV remotes go when you can't find them?

To a remote island...

Find Jokes More Find Jokes

What did the blonde say when she found out she was pregnant?

Are you sure it's mine "

What musical instrument is found in the bathroom?

A tuba toothpaste.

Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What is the difference between a English actuary and a Sicilian actuary?

An English actuary can tell you how many people are going to die next year. A Sicilian actuary can give you their names...

What's the difference between Bill Cosby and a Rap artist?

art

Try Jokes More Try Jokes

Why are men afraid of the world?

They spend 9 months trying to get out of a woman and the rest of their life trying to get back in.

Why don't old men like old women?

Ever tried to peel apart a grilled cheese sandwich

Turn Jokes More Turn Jokes

What does a Pirate say when he turns 80?

Ayyyeeeee mmmaattteeeyyy.

What do you call the operation that turns a woman into a man?

An addadictamie.

Remote Control Jokes More Remote Control Jokes

What did the tv say to the remote control?

you turn me on"

How can you tell when a Chicago Fireman is dead?

A. The remote control slips from his hand.