Tv Remote Jokes

What's the difference between a tv remote and a newborn?

You can't play football with the remote.

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Where did all the TV remotes go when you can't find them?

To a remote island...

What do Libyan people put in their TV remotes?

Tripoli batteries.

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What do you tell someone who feels that life has shorted them from a purpose or calling?

You belong.

What two friends belonging to two different alien species call each other?

Brothers from Another Mothership.

Turn Jokes More Turn Jokes

What did Adam say when he broke up with Eve?

I'm turning over a new leaf.

What advice to cows give?

Turn the udder cheek and mooooove on!

Remote Jokes More Remote Jokes

What's the difference between a tv remote and a newborn?

You can't play football with the remote.

Why did the T.V. break up with the remote?

She thought he was too controlling.

Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What is the difference between a dancer and a duck?

One goes quick on her beautiful legs the other goes quack on her beautiful legs.

What's the difference between a wife and a mistress?

A: About fifty pounds.

Island Jokes More Island Jokes

What do you call large number of cannibals stranded on an island?

Why is the letter T like an island?

Because its in the middle of water!!!

Find Jokes More Find Jokes

Why did the moron think his girlfriend was into metal?

He found steel wool pads in her bathroom.

What did Data find in Picard's gym sock?

The Next Generation

Play Jokes More Play Jokes

What's the difference between a tv remote and a newborn?

You can't play football with the remote.

What kind of music can't Ed Sheeran play?

Soul

Try Jokes More Try Jokes

Why didn't the black kid play Pokemon?

He was afraid they were trying to catch Jamal.

How many skateboarders does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Two. One to screw it in and one to film it. One, but it takes him fifty tries.