Tv Remote Jokes

What's the difference between a tv remote and a newborn?

You can't play football with the remote.

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

Coffee Mug

Where did all the TV remotes go when you can't find them?

To a remote island...

What do Libyan people put in their TV remotes?

Tripoli batteries.

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Island Jokes More Island Jokes

What do you call an eye doctor living on an island in Alaska?

An optical Aleutian.

What did inhabitants of an island in South-East Thailand say when they saw a tsunami approaching?

Oh, Phuket!

Remote Control Jokes More Remote Control Jokes

Who do you pat with encouragement when they fail to work?

A Remote control

How can you tell when a Chicago Fireman is dead?

A. The remote control slips from his hand.

Find Jokes More Find Jokes

Why do electricians make good mediators?

Because they're good at finding common ground.

Why was Darth Vader upset when he heard George Michael will only play new songs at his concerts?

He found his lack of Faith disturbing.

Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What's the difference between Karate and Judo?

Karate is a martial art and Judo is used to make bagels.

What's the difference between a conservative priest and a progressive priest?

A progressive priest will give you a reach around.

Try Jokes More Try Jokes

What did the stuttering Mexican say to his friend when he tried to steal his food?

These are nacho-nachos.

What did the IT guy say to his wife after she complained about their love life?

Did you try turning me off and on again?"

Play Jokes More Play Jokes

Why are people afraid to play poker in Africa?

Too many Cheetahs.

Why did Helen Keller play the piano with one hand?

Because she used the other to sing

Vacation Jokes More Vacation Jokes

Where do pencils go for vacation?

Pencil-vania.

What is gray, has a trunk, and big ears?

A mouse going on vacation.

Football Jokes More Football Jokes

How do you know the rules of football was written by an Italian?

You switch sides at half time.

What are your best Sports Team jokes?

With the NHL season getting started tonight. I am wondering what are you best jokes making fun off sports teams. All Sports (Baseball,hockey,football, soccer etc).