Well Jokes

Which fruit can't get married?

A can't elope. Or better yet None of them because of the lgbt movement.

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What is a better name for cows?

Lawn mooers! My 12 year old sister made this up... She out dad joked me..and I'm a dad!

Whats the difference between you and an orphan?

You were adopted. Best told to siblings :D

What do you call an Eastern European cashier?

A Checkoutslovakian. (Better said than read)

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Complaint Jokes More Complaint Jokes

How would you handle a complaint from a customer?

Applicant: Well that depends, what's the complaint? Interviewer: He's complaining that his burger had onions on it, even though he specifically asked they were to be removed. Applicant: Well I'd start by telling him he's in the retail section.

What have you been doing?

Headmaster: I've had complaints about you, Johnny, from all your teachers. What have you been doing? Johnny: Nothing, sir. Headmaster: Exactly.

Customer Jokes More Customer Jokes

What did the customer say to the barber after looking at a facial hair catalog?

I moustache you a question about this style shown here, good sir.

Why did the customer choose T-Mobile?

Because he wanted the worst cellphone service in the world.

Run Jokes More Run Jokes

What's the worst place to run in to your ex girlfriend?

Auschwitz

Why did the bodybuilder stop in the middle of the road?

They ran out of juice!

Onion Jokes More Onion Jokes

What does a bag of rice and an onion do when they get into a fast car?

They pilaf. I'll show my way out

What's the difference between a baby and an onion?

I cry when I chop an onion.

Depend Jokes More Depend Jokes

How many wizards does it take to change a lightbulb?

Depends what you want it to change into...

How many babies does it take to paint a house?

Depends on how hard you throw them.

Talk Jokes More Talk Jokes

Why do black people talk funny?

They don't, it's a miff.

What do you get if you cross a parrot with a woodpecker ?

A bird that talks in morse code !

Today Jokes More Today Jokes

Why is there so much segregation today?

All Fridays Matter

What's your favorite joke appropriate for a 6-8 year old?

I am a ski instructor and I've recently been teaching these two boys who are 6 and 8 year old brothers. I realized today that I know zero jokes appropriate enough or funny to this demographic. I feel like they think I am super boring. Give me some help to make the chairlift more exciting!!

Start Jokes More Start Jokes

How many irish men does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Two, One to hold the light and, one to drink until the room starts spinning!

When does karaoke start?

Him: Never. Me: But I put my "I Karaoke" t-shirt on. Him: We noticed. Me: This is the worst funeral ever.