Old Lady Jokes

Why did the old lady fall into the well?

She didn't see that well

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

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What about the two old ladies who brought a bottle of whiskey to the baseball game?

At the bottom of the fifth the bags were loaded.

How do you get three old ladies to say the "F" word?

Yell "BINGO!"

What has one hundred balls and screws old ladies?

Bingo.

What has 75 balls and screws old ladies?

Bingo!

Why did the old lady cover her mouth with her hands when she sneezed?

To catch her false teeth.

Why did it take three burly Boy Scouts to help the old lady across the street?

A: Because she didn't want to go.

What is the similarity between tight rope walking and an old lady giving you head?

You don't want to look down.

What has seventy-five balls and screws old ladies?

A. Bingo!

Why did the old lady throw the clock outside her window?

SHE WAS MENTALLY ILL!!!!!!

How do you get four old ladies to say the F word?

Have the fifth one say.... BINGO!

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Why did the old lady put wheels on her rocking chair?

A: She wanted to rock and roll

How do you get a little old lady to say the f* word?

Get another old lady to say "BINGO!"

What does it taste like when you go down... What does it taste like when you go down on an old lady?

Depends...

What happens when you scare an old lady?

Depends.

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Cover Jokes More Cover Jokes

What do you call a humpless camel covered in plastic?

Llamanated

Why are sewer covers called manholes?

If they were called womanholes, guys would keep trying to get in.

Screw Old Lady Jokes More Screw Old Lady Jokes

What has little balls and screws old ladies?

A bingo machine.

What has a whole bunch of little balls and screws old ladies?

A bingo machine.

Head Jokes More Head Jokes

How do you save a Republican from drowning?

Take your foot off of their head.

Why wasn't the patient concerned when she was told she had a brain tumor?

The doctor said it was all in her head

Bunch Jokes More Bunch Jokes

Why is wrestling stupid?

It's a bunch of guy's without pants fighting for a belt....

What do Detroit and the Olympics have in common?

You hear a gunshot and see a bunch of black guys running

Street Jokes More Street Jokes

Who's there ! Aladdin ! Aladdin who ?

Aladdin the street wants a word with you !

Why does Paris have tree lined streets?

Because the German army likes to march in the shade.

Fifth Jokes More Fifth Jokes

When drinking liquor while watching baseball, at what point will you be the most drunk?

Bottom of the fifth, of course.

How many blacks does it take to screw in a light blulb?

Three Fifths

Yell Jokes More Yell Jokes

How did one goldfish get the attention of another goldfish?

He yelled, "A u, fish!"

How do you get an 80 year old woman to say f***?

Have another 80 year old woman yell "bingo!"

Cross Jokes More Cross Jokes

What do you get when you cross a kangaroo with an alien?

A mars-upial

What do you get when you cross a dyslexic, an atheist, an insomniac?

A person that lays awake late at night and ponders if there's such a thing as a dog.