Old Lady Jokes

Why did the old lady fall into the well?

She didn't see that well

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

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What about the two old ladies who brought a bottle of whiskey to the baseball game?

At the bottom of the fifth the bags were loaded.

How do you get three old ladies to say the "F" word?

Yell "BINGO!"

What has one hundred balls and screws old ladies?

Bingo.

What has 75 balls and screws old ladies?

Bingo!

Why did the old lady cover her mouth with her hands when she sneezed?

To catch her false teeth.

Why did it take three burly Boy Scouts to help the old lady across the street?

A: Because she didn't want to go.

What is the similarity between tight rope walking and an old lady giving you head?

You don't want to look down.

What has seventy-five balls and screws old ladies?

A. Bingo!

Why did the old lady throw the clock outside her window?

SHE WAS MENTALLY ILL!!!!!!

How do you get four old ladies to say the F word?

Have the fifth one say.... BINGO!

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Why did the old lady put wheels on her rocking chair?

A: She wanted to rock and roll

How do you get a little old lady to say the f* word?

Get another old lady to say "BINGO!"

What does it taste like when you go down... What does it taste like when you go down on an old lady?

Depends...

What happens when you scare an old lady?

Depends.

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Fifth Jokes More Fifth Jokes

How much liquor does it take before you start telling racist jokes?

For me, it's about three fifths.

What do you call bad filmography in another dimension?

Breaking the fifth wall.

F Jokes More F Jokes

How did the 3 legged frog get across the 4 lane freeway?

Take the F out of Free, and the F out of way and you'll have your answer.

How do you fit an elephant in a teacup?

You take the f out of way. say it out loud if you don't get it

Bottle Jokes More Bottle Jokes

What did the bottle of milk say to the Mexican?

Soy milk.

Why does pushing my finger against a bottle of Pepsi make me sad?

Because it's soda pressing.

Little Ball Jokes More Little Ball Jokes

What has little balls, and hangs down?

A bat. What has big balls, and hangs up ...Then hang up the phone x)

What has little balls and screws old ladies?

A bingo machine.

Whiskey Jokes More Whiskey Jokes

What does Batman like with his whiskey?

Gravely voice) "Just ice."

What is the difference between a beautiful dress and a bottle of Whisky?

A beautiful dress can make one girl look gorgeous... A bottle of whiskey can make all girls look gorgeous.

False Tooth Jokes More False Tooth Jokes

What do you call it when you lease false teeth?

A dental rental.

What happened to the man who put his false teeth in backwards?

He ate himself!

Bag Jokes More Bag Jokes

What's red and white and screams when you shake it?

A skinned baby in a bag of salt.

What does a bag of rice and an onion do when they get into a fast car?

They pilaf. I'll show my way out

Cross Jokes More Cross Jokes

Why did Adele cross the road??

To say hello from the other side.

Why shouldn't the chicken cross the road?

It would be a fowl proceeding.