How many women have you slept with wife asked husband, "How many women have you slept with?

he proudly replied, "Only you, Darling. With all the others I was awake."

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Wife Jokes More Wife Jokes

Why don't you buy your wife a watch?

There's already a clock on the stove

What do wives and shingles have in common?

if you don't nail them right, they'll end up at your neighbor's.

Sleep Jokes More Sleep Jokes

What happened when the Orange slept with the skanky Lemon?

He got Lemonaids.

A programmer puts two glasses on his bedside table before going to sleep.

A full one, in case he gets thirsty, and an empty one, in case he doesn’t.

Ask Jokes More Ask Jokes

What does a blonde say when you ask her if her blinker is working?

A: Yes. No. Yes. No. Yes. No. Yes. No. Yes. No.

What did the artist ask Shakespeare when he was sketching his portrait?

2B or not 2B?

Woman Jokes More Woman Jokes

What is a woman ?

Man with a uterus somewhere

What do you call a woman with only one leg?

Eileen.

Husband Jokes More Husband Jokes

How do you keep your husband from reading your e-mail?

A: Rename the mail folder to "instruction manuals"

Why can't witches have babies?

Because their husbands have hollow-weenies.

Darling Jokes More Darling Jokes

How many women have you slept with My wife asked me, "How many women have you slept with?

I proudly replied, "Only you, Darling. With all the others I was awake."

Why don't kids at school get my sarcastic humor?

Me: Because they have boring parents, darling.

Reply Jokes More Reply Jokes

How many women have you slept with My wife asked me, "How many women have you slept with?

I proudly replied, "Only you, Darling. With all the others I was awake."

When my girlfriend asks "mom, what are you doing!?

I reply "Taxes."