How many women have you slept with wife asked husband, "How many women have you slept with?

he proudly replied, "Only you, Darling. With all the others I was awake."

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Wife Jokes More Wife Jokes

What do you call a married knot?

Monotonous. Bonus answer from my wife: a noose.

What's the problem with your marriage?

WIFE: He replaces words with animal names just to annoy me ME: I don't do it on porpoise

Sleep Jokes More Sleep Jokes

What does a Maple leaf fan do when they win the cup?

Turn off their console and go to sleep.

What does a muslim man call a woman he wants to sleep with, but can't due to religious reasons?

Harambae

Ask Jokes More Ask Jokes

What did Chris Christie say when asked if he had plans to run in the 2016 presidential election?

After giving it a substantial amount of thought and discussing it with my advisors, I've decided against it. I mean, I'd love to, and I appreciate those who'd support me, but I feel like I wouldn't be able to take the stress mentally- and physically." After being asked what physical stress he'd experience, he responded: "I don't think I'd be able to handle that much running."

Why are we here?

Me: Philosophers still don't know 5: No, why are we HERE Wife: Your dad is lost and won't ask for directions

Woman Jokes More Woman Jokes

Why are women so bad at parking?

Because they've been lied to about what 8 inches look like their whole lives.

Why are women like KFC?

After you've finished with the thigh and breasts, all you have left is a greasy box to put your bone in.

Husband Jokes More Husband Jokes

Why's he happy?

He got dog-piled. Me: He made a lot of groundage before getting put down. Husband: Yardage. Tackled. PLEASE LEAVE.

What do you call a women who always knows where her husband is?

A widow

Darling Jokes More Darling Jokes

How many women have you slept with My wife asked me, "How many women have you slept with?

I proudly replied, "Only you, Darling. With all the others I was awake."

Why don't kids at school get my sarcastic humor?

Me: Because they have boring parents, darling.

Reply Jokes More Reply Jokes

What's your pleasure?

The seal replies, "Anything but Canadian Club."

What' chu want fam?

The Vietnamese person replies, "How do you know my name "