What do you call a 2x4 that lost its family to a fire?

mourning wood

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Lose Jokes More Lose Jokes

What is Apple's CEO's favourite TV show?

Lost

Why didn't Anna and Elsa's parents teach them the alphabet?

Because they got lost at C.

Wood Jokes More Wood Jokes

What's the difference between sandpaper and a baby?

The sandpaper doesn't scream when I rub it's face on wood.

How do you know if you're a necrophiliac?

You get mourning wood.

Fire Jokes More Fire Jokes

What is the difference between the substance inside a fire hydrant and the substance on the outside of it?

H20 is on the inside, and K9P is on the outside.

Where's the fire ma'am?

grips lighter* "I'm not sure yet"

Family Jokes More Family Jokes

Why are Alabama weddings so small?

They've only gotta invite one family

What has four wheels and can't support a family?

A liberal arts major. I lied about the wheels.

Mourn Jokes More Mourn Jokes

What do you call a fart in the middle of the night? What do you call a fart in the mourning?

A midnight snack A hot Breakfast

What do you call an erection during a funeral?

Mourning wood!

2x4 Jokes More 2x4 Jokes

What do Jesus and Muhammad have in common?

They both nailed a 2x4.

What was the allergic 2"X4"'s terrifying hallucination?

He sawdust.