What do you call a 2x4 that lost its family to a fire?

mourning wood

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Lose Jokes More Lose Jokes

What would Paul McCartney say after losing both his legs?

Suddenly....I'm not half the man I used to be....."

Who do you give a lost gun to?

The rifle owner.

Wood Jokes More Wood Jokes

What did the Doe say when she came out of the woods?

I'm not doing that again for two bucks.

What mathematical operation is used to calculate the rate at which lumberjacks cut wood?

Logger-rhythms.

Fire Jokes More Fire Jokes

Why did the butcher get fired?

For bringing home the bacon.

What do you call a woman who sets all her money on fire?

Bernadette!

Family Jokes More Family Jokes

Whats the difference between a Mexican and a Pizza?

A pizza can feed a family of four. Im sorry if I've offended any pizzas.

When Chris brought over his musl*m girlfriend to meet the family, what did they say?

Nice scarf! Must be cold where you came from! Do you guys want coffee?"

Mourn Jokes More Mourn Jokes

What does a necrophiliac get at a funeral?

Mourning wood.

What do you call an erection during a funeral?

Mourning wood!

2x4 Jokes More 2x4 Jokes

What do you call a 2x4 that lost its family to a fire?

mourning wood

What do Jesus and Muhammad have in common?

They both nailed a 2x4.