2x4 Jokes

What do Jesus and Muhammad have in common?

They both nailed a 2x4.

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What do you call a 2x4 that lost its family to a fire?

mourning wood

What was the allergic 2"X4"'s terrifying hallucination?

He sawdust.

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Mourn Jokes More Mourn Jokes

What do you call a 2x4 that lost its family to a fire?

mourning wood

What do you call an erection during a funeral?

Mourning wood!

Lose Jokes More Lose Jokes

Why do bald-headed men never use keys?

Because they've lost their locks.

Why will Church's chicken be losing money?

Because I don't see black people going to church's anytime soon

Fire Jokes More Fire Jokes

What do you call a woman who sets all her money on fire?

Bernadette!

Why was the distracted man fired from his job at the distillery?

Because he couldn't concentrate

Nail Jokes More Nail Jokes

What do you call a Nun that bites her nails?

A bad Habit. I'll see myself out.

Why did Jesus quit playing hockey?

He kept getting nailed to the boards.

Wood Jokes More Wood Jokes

What kind of an erection does a necrophiliac get?

Mourning wood! :)

What mathematical operation is used to calculate the rate at which lumberjacks cut wood?

Logger-rhythms.

Jesus Jokes More Jesus Jokes

What do you get when you cross Jesus with a dinosaur?

A velocirapture

Why was Jesus crucified instead of stoned?

So Catholics could do this makes the sign of the cross, instead of this bangs self in head with fists.

Family Jokes More Family Jokes

What the difference between a Mexican and a bench?

The bench can support a family my first post here, a friend told me this joke.

Why did the trout go to med school?

Mounting pressure from his friends and family

Muhammad Jokes More Muhammad Jokes

Why was Muhammad a successful merchant?

Because he was god's profit.

Why couldn't Muhammad pick his wife up from childcare?

Because Muslim girls can't go to school