What do you get if you cross a labrador and a tortoise ?

A dog that will run to the shop to get your paper and bring back last weeks paper !

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Dog Jokes More Dog Jokes

What goes "krab krab krab"?

A: A dog barking in a mirror.

What did one dog say to the other dog?

I like "Hot Dogs".

Cross Jokes More Cross Jokes

Why did the nihilist cross the road?

It doesn't matter.

What do you get when you cross and elephant with a giraffe?

elephantgiraffesin()

Bring Jokes More Bring Jokes

What is the difference between a Mother and Wife?

One woman brings you into this world crying and the other ensures you continue to do so.

What is the best way to avoid having your flight bombed?

Bring your own bomb! Cause what are the odds that there are **two** bombs on the same plane

Shop Jokes More Shop Jokes

What doctors shop at Barnes and Noble?

Doctors without Borders. Credit to Max Scoville.

Where do psychopaths shop?

In sainsburys

Paper Jokes More Paper Jokes

What's the difference between an elephant and a piece of paper ?

You can't make a paper aeroplane out of an elephant !

What paper product speaks really quickly?

Wrapping paper.

Run Jokes More Run Jokes

What do you say when a dog runs away?

Dog-gone!

Which of these three does not belong: (A) a lobster, (B) a flounder, or (C) a Korean man who has just been run over by a bus?

The answer is (B) a flounder. The other two are crushedAsians.

Week Jokes More Week Jokes

What do you call a group of millionaires sitting around watching the NBA finals ?

The Lakers . (Laker fan here. Sorry prob would have been more appropriate last week during the finals. ) Edit: I heard this some where the other day. I can't take credit for the joke .

Which day of the week do ghosts like best?

Moandays.

Tortoise Jokes More Tortoise Jokes

What do you call an Orangutan, a tortoise and a hamster in cars?

Top Gear,

How is Sandusky like a tortoise?

He gets there before the hair...

Labrador Jokes More Labrador Jokes

How do you call an intelligent blonde?

A Labrador.

What do you get if you cross a labrador and a tortoise ?

A dog that will run to the shop to get your paper and bring back last weeks paper !