What does a fire, flood, earthquake, tornado, hurricane, and a wife have in common?

Sooner or later, one of them is probably going to get your house.

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Wife Jokes More Wife Jokes

What did the String Theorist say when his wife caught him in bed with another woman?

Wait, I can explain everything!

What did the bee say to his wife?

No on knows. It's a Mister Bee.

House Jokes More House Jokes

What did the body-builder say after his house got robbed?

No whey...

What's the difference between a toilet and a sink?

Aaaand you're not allowed in my house anymore.

Fire Jokes More Fire Jokes

Why was the chef fired?

He was caught stroganoff

Why did the cross-eyed teacher get fired?

She didn't have control of her pupils

Tornado Jokes More Tornado Jokes

What did one tornado say to the other?

A. "Let's twist again like we did last summer...."

What do you call a trailer park in a tornado?

Wind chimes.

Hurricane Jokes More Hurricane Jokes

What do a hurricane a tornado and a redneck divorce all have in common?

A. Someone's going to lose their trailer...

Why do hurricanes travel so fast?

Because if they travelled slowly we'd have to call them slow-i-canes.

Earthquake Jokes More Earthquake Jokes

What did San Andreas said to the Earthquake?

This is all your fault!

What is worse than the earthquake in Italy?

The Holocaust.

Flood Jokes More Flood Jokes

What did the person say when a flood struck his house?

Damn it!

Why are housing prices in Toronto falling?

Because the market got flooded.