What does a fire, flood, earthquake, tornado, hurricane, and a wife have in common?

Sooner or later, one of them is probably going to get your house.

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Wife Jokes More Wife Jokes

Where did Santa meet his wife?

Conjunction junction, they specialize in hooking up words, phrases, and Clauses

How do you know when you're turning 40?

When your candy jar is filled with Tums..... My wife just came up with that one... Birthday is next week.. Ugh

House Jokes More House Jokes

How do you know you let a hippie stay at your house?

He's still there.

What the hell is this REstraining Order?

I never even got a Straining Order I'm gonna go over to her house and sort this out.

Fire Jokes More Fire Jokes

Why did the blonde get fired from the M&M factory?

For throwing out all the w's.

Why did the feminist get fired from Panera?

Because she ate all the cookies and didn't know how to make a sandwich.

Tornado Jokes More Tornado Jokes

What do tornados and black people have in common?

It only takes one to ruin a neighborhood

What do a Redneck divorcee and a Tornado have in common?

either way, you're gonna lose your trailer...

Hurricane Jokes More Hurricane Jokes

What does a fire, flood, earthquake, tornado, hurricane, and a wife have in common?

Sooner or later, one of them is probably going to get your house.

How is a redneck divorce like a hurricane in Florida?

Either way you lose the trailer!

Earthquake Jokes More Earthquake Jokes

Whose fault is it that California always has earthquakes?

San Andreas fault.

What did one earthquake say to the other earthquake?

I've been really stressed out lately, I know it's not your fault, but please stop cracking jokes about me

Flood Jokes More Flood Jokes

What does a fire, flood, earthquake, tornado, hurricane, and a wife have in common?

Sooner or later, one of them is probably going to get your house.

Why did the Irish Football manager flood the pitch ?

So he could bring his 'sub' on