What phone etiquette?

You hand me your phone, you better believe I'ma hurry & scroll through as many pics as I can before you notice.

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Hand Jokes More Hand Jokes

Why does Helen Keller play the piano with only one hand?

Because she uses the other one to sing.

What's it like being a grown up?

Me hands her money: When we get to the movies, buy a large popcorn. 10: This is only $2 M: Exactly

Phone Jokes More Phone Jokes

Why did the Hobbit put his phone on silent?

Because he was bored of the rings!

How's the meal?

Me: I dunno. Let me check *pulls out phone Me: Not good. It only got 2 likes on Instagram Waiter: ...

Believe Jokes More Believe Jokes

Why didn't the atheist businesswoman make any money?

She didn't believe in prophets.

What does a redneck Buddhist believe in?

Reintarnation.

Notice Jokes More Notice Jokes

What did the mathematician's apprentice say when he didn't get acknowledged?

Notice me sin() !!!

What did the fireman say when he noticed his hammer was on fire?

This is not a drill.

Hurry Jokes More Hurry Jokes

What do you call a fish in a hurry?

Salman Rushdie.

What do you call a bat in a hurry?

A racing club

Pic Jokes More Pic Jokes

What's his last name?

Oh, uh- *looks at pic* Squarepants

Where we going?

Will there be food Why do I have to die Why didn't you like my last pic ..

Scroll Jokes More Scroll Jokes

What phone etiquette?

You hand me your phone, you better believe I'ma hurry & scroll through as many pics as I can before you notice.

Why hasn't a phone that charges itself just by scrolling the screen ever been invented?

What are our scientists doing