What's in the bottle?

Me: "It's water." Cop: "This is wine." Me: "What! That Jesus! He did it again!"

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Water Jokes More Water Jokes

What do you call an old snowman?

Water.

What turns you on the most?

Water. It makes me wet instantly.

Damn Jokes More Damn Jokes

How many house flies does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Just the standard two, but I'll be damned if I know how they got in there.

What's the difference between a bad golfer, and a bad skydiver?

The golfer goes " Damn!" The skydiver goes "Damn! "

Jesus Jokes More Jesus Jokes

What were Jesus' final words?

So long and thanks for all the fish." Edit: Everyone hates me.

Why didn't Jesus ever play in the NHL?

because every time he tried he got nailed to the boards!

Wine Jokes More Wine Jokes

How much wine can a cat drink?

2. How do you resuscitate a drunk cat 3. Will they do an autopsy on a dead cat

What was the old lady's favourite type of wine?

Why don't you ever take me to Florida " Courtesy of my Nana.

Cop Jokes More Cop Jokes

Why do the cops monitor the store that sells upper-case letters for computers?

It's a shifty business.

How many calls do I get?

cop: one me: What do you think is more likely a lawyer delivering pizza or a dominos providing legal counsel

Bottle Jokes More Bottle Jokes

What happened when the monster stole a bottle of perfume?

He was convicted of fragrancy.

What do you have when you got a bag of weed and a bottle of Jack Daniel's?

Jackpot!