What's the longest you've ever stared at your phone without glancing up to look at the road while driving?

For me it's three weeks.

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Look Jokes More Look Jokes

Why do priests wear underwear in the shower?

They don't like to look down on the unemployed

Why was Tigger's head in the toilet?

He was looking for Pooh.

Road Jokes More Road Jokes

Why did Adele crossed the road?

To say hello from the other side.

What did Apply say to the iPhone 7?

Hit the road, Jack.

Drive Jokes More Drive Jokes

Why does Heisenberg hate driving?

He gets lost every time he checks the speedometer.

What do bees do if they don't want to drive?

A: Wait at the buzz stop.

Phone Jokes More Phone Jokes

How does a door chime answer the phone?

Bella

Why are there so many Asians?

Its the food. There is too much raw dog. Heard it on Adam Carolla's Podcast. A caller phoned in and told it to Adam. Thought you guys would like it.

Week Jokes More Week Jokes

How many retweets to let me take your sister to prom?

A student walks up to his friend a week before prom and asks, "Hey, how many Twitter retweets do i have to get to take your sister to prom?" His friend says, "Dude, she was abducted! She's been missing 3 weeks, you know this!" The student says, "So you're saying if i find her, i can take her?"

What are the strongest days of the week?

Saturday and Sunday. The rest are weekdays.

Stare Jokes More Stare Jokes

How do you pick out the extroverted engineer?

He's the one staring at YOUR feet when he talks

What is something that basically stops when you stare at it, but flys by when you dont?

There are two answere: Time and Boo (from Mario games). Just made this joke up what do you guys think

Glance Jokes More Glance Jokes

How can you tell when a white guy is about to tell a joke?

He glances over his shoulder.

What are you doing, creep?

she says. He glances up, smiles, and says "Calm down. I'm just trying to get a Pikachu."