What's the longest you've ever stared at your phone without glancing up to look at the road while driving?

For me it's three weeks.

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Look Jokes More Look Jokes

What is the term for a group of Canadians?

Is it "an apology" "Oh look, there goes an apology of Canadians"

What do you call orange juice that looks like apple juice, but tastes like orange juice?

Juice Jenner. I'll be here all week

Road Jokes More Road Jokes

Why did the spider cross the road?

To get to his website!

Why Did the Ebola Patient Cross the Road?

Trick question. There are no roads in Africa.

Drive Jokes More Drive Jokes

What changes would occur in your lifestyle if you could no longer drive lawfully?

A: I would be forced to drive unlawfully.

What was the point in making your car louder, bro?

Do you really want women to turn their heads and notice you drive a 1999 Honda Civic

Phone Jokes More Phone Jokes

Why are you going through my phone?

BF: 'Do you have something to hide ' Me: 'I'm gonna have a body to hide if you keep it up.'

When asked, 'Are you Twittering?

if I'm looking at my phone I now reply, 'No. I am not Twittering,' in a sort of flat monotone. And tweet.

Week Jokes More Week Jokes

What's an American's favourite day of the week?

Fryday.

What do you call a 5 year old's knees?

Kidneys! Ha! I'll be here all week folks.

Stare Jokes More Stare Jokes

What does Ellen Pao have in common with the girl's mom from 'The Sixth Sense'?

The both have no idea why everyone stopped talking and just stared at her.

Why can't people in wheelchairs be looked at for too long?

The can't handle stares.

Glance Jokes More Glance Jokes

What's the longest you've ever stared at your phone without glancing up to look at the road while driving?

For me it's three weeks.

What are you doing, creep?

she says. He glances up, smiles, and says "Calm down. I'm just trying to get a Pikachu."