What's the longest you've ever stared at your phone without glancing up to look at the road while driving?

For me it's three weeks.

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Look Jokes More Look Jokes

What did one John say to the other John?

What's the matter You look flushed!"

What's the best part about taking a shower with an 11 year old girl?

If you slick her hair back, she looks like an 8 year old boy.

Road Jokes More Road Jokes

Why did the Chinese Government cross the road?

THE PUNCHLINE OF THIS JOKE HAS BEEN CENSORED BY THE GOVERNMENT OF THE PEOPLES REPUBLIC OF CHINA, PLEASE REMAIN CALM WHILE WE WILL DEAL WITH THE OP IN A CIVIL MANNER.

Why did the terrorist cross the road?

To send people to the other side.

Drive Jokes More Drive Jokes

How do you make a woman drive in a circle?

Take away her rights.

Why were you driving around in circles and laughing?

Motorist: I thought I was on a merry-go-round.

Phone Jokes More Phone Jokes

Why do astronauts bring their phone into space?

Because they can get 4g

How does Beyonce answer the phone?

HALO HALO HALO!* - inspired from the Superbowl XLV11 Half-Time show

Week Jokes More Week Jokes

What's the difference between the jokes from today and next week's jokes?

The posters.

Which day of the week do ghosts like best?

Moandays.

Stare Jokes More Stare Jokes

How do you know if an introvert likes you when you're talking to them?

They'll stare at your shoes instead of theirs.

How do you pick out the extroverted engineer?

He's the one staring at YOUR feet when he talks

Glance Jokes More Glance Jokes

How can you tell when a white guy is about to tell a joke?

He glances over his shoulder.

What are you doing, creep?

she says. He glances up, smiles, and says "Calm down. I'm just trying to get a Pikachu."