Why are you always tired, Dad?

my 3-year-old asked as she woke me from a nap by poking me in the eye.

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Dad Jokes More Dad Jokes

What do Kim Kardashian and her dad have in common?

They both got famous for getting a black man off.

What is it son?

Son: Boys are gathering into our yard! Dad: ...How many boys Son: All of them... Dad: MY MILKSHAKES!

Ask Jokes More Ask Jokes

How many pixies does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, but don't ask me how they got in there.

How do you ask an Uber driver if he drives for Lyft, too?

Do you even Lyft bro? (I'll see myself out)

Wake Jokes More Wake Jokes

What's the inscription on dead blues-singers tombstones?

A: "I didn't wake up this morning..."

What's the first thing a Navy wife does when she wakes up in the morning?

She puts her clothes back on and goes home.

3 Year Old Jokes More 3 Year Old Jokes

What colour is eight?

Purple (According to my 3 year old son)

What did you do at preschool?

3-year-old: We had to color inside the lines the WHOLE time. Me: 3-year-old: I need to lie down.

Eye Jokes More Eye Jokes

Why did the boy close his eyes before opening the refrigerator?

He didn't want to see the salad dressing.

What has six legs two arms four eyes and a tail?

A man holding an aardvark.

Poke Jokes More Poke Jokes

How do you get 50 Pikachus on a bus?

Poke 'em on.

What's worse than a poke in the eye with a hot stick?

Nothing. Trust me.

Nap Jokes More Nap Jokes

What do you call a relative of a nap?

A napkin.

Why are you always tired, Dad?

my 3-year-old asked as she woke me from a nap by poking me in the eye.