3 Year Old Jokes

Why do men carry condoms instead of women?

Because by the time women found a condom in their purses, kid would be 3 years old

This joke may have profanity.

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What colour is eight?

Purple (According to my 3 year old son)

Why did the 3 year old go to jail?

For resisting a rest.

What did I do in my 3-year-old?

I ate sand.

What's wrong ?

3-year-old: NOTHING! Phew! she's already a woman :-o

Why are you always tired, Dad?

my 3-year-old asked as she woke me from a nap by poking me in the eye.

What sound do dogs make?

3-year-old: Woof woof. Me: Horses 3: Neigh. Me: Pigs 3: Sizzle sizzle. Somebody understands bacon.

When I was 3 years old I looked at my nutsack and asked my Mom "Are these my brains?

Not yet," she replied

What does that cloud look like to you?

3-year-old: A cloud. Me: No, what do you imagine it could be 3-year-old: Rain.

What did you do at preschool?

3-year-old: We had to color inside the lines the WHOLE time. Me: 3-year-old: I need to lie down.

Why does the house only have one window?

Cheeseburger (joke from my 3 year old neice this evening)

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What did you get me for Mother's Day?

3-year-old: A cake. Wife: Where is it 3: You haven't made it yet.

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Window Jokes More Window Jokes

Why did Microsoft skip to windows 10?

Because 7 8 9.

What does the Mexican kid say as his homework flys out of the window?

Ayyee essay, where are you going

Evening Jokes More Evening Jokes

What has four limbs in the morning, two limbs in the afternoon, and is dead by evening?

A disobedient slave.

What did Dr. Frankenstein say when his monster showed up for the ball?

You look quite put-together this evening.

Sound Jokes More Sound Jokes

What sound does a Nintendo Ambulence make?

Wii U, Wii U, Wii U, Wii U.

What's orange and sounds like a parrot?

A Carrot.

Wife Jokes More Wife Jokes

What is my relationship?

Alex: No sorry tha- glares at wife I'll take YOU RUINED MY LIFE KAREN for $800 Alex

Why did the Mexican push his wife off the bridge?

Tequila

Brain Jokes More Brain Jokes

What has more brains then Paul Walker?

The steering wheel...

What has more brains than Kurt Cobain?

The wall behind him.

Rest Jokes More Rest Jokes

Which actor is resting in pieces?

Alan RIPman

What did the cop say to the doughnut as he ate it?

Rest in **police**.

Wake Jokes More Wake Jokes

What did they say about the guy who woke up and jerked off on his alarm clock every day?

He always came on time.

How many "can't"s can a white girl "can't" before she literally can't even?

my brother asked me this when i woke up and it has been bugging me all day.

Eat Jokes More Eat Jokes

What did the man who ate a clock say?

That was time consuming but I still want seconds.

What are the Humans doing?

Alien 2: Celebrating the existence of their mothers. Alien 1: I ate my mother. Alien 2: As did I.