Why do men carry condoms instead of women?

Because by the time women found a condom in their purses, kid would be 3 years old

This joke may have profanity.
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Kid Jokes More Kid Jokes

What bounces and makes kids cry?

The cheque I just sent to Save the Children.

What do you call a kid that stands up to bullies?

An ambulance.

Find Jokes More Find Jokes

What do you call a dictatorship founded on the principles of Ethos, Logos & Pathos?

An Aristotalitarian Regime.

Where did all the TV remotes go when you can't find them?

To a remote island...

Man Jokes More Man Jokes

Why did the man keep reloading the picture of the candy cane at the potluck?

He was in charge of refresh mints.

What do you call a man whose wife was the Queen, his daughter a Princess and his boss an Emperor, but he himself is no royal?

Darth Vader.

Time Jokes More Time Jokes

What kind of line gets thicker and thinner at the same time?

A line of marathon runners

Why are burglars such good tennis players ?

Because they spend such a lot of their time in courts !

Woman Jokes More Woman Jokes

What is something a woman hates about a man but a man would love about a woman?

Premature ejactulation.

What do you call two women standing side by side?

Four abreast!

3 Year Old Jokes More 3 Year Old Jokes

What's wrong ?

3-year-old: NOTHING! Phew! she's already a woman :-o

What did you do at preschool?

3-year-old: We had to color inside the lines the WHOLE time. Me: 3-year-old: I need to lie down.

Condom Jokes More Condom Jokes

How about if I put a balloon over it?

Would you touch it then " -guy who invented condoms

Why don't Brazilians wear condoms?

Because they all pull out.

Purse Jokes More Purse Jokes

Which purse runs from the law?

Disburse!

What three words will emasculate any man?

A: Hold my purse.

Carry Jokes More Carry Jokes

Why does SnoopDogg always carry an umbrella?

Fo Drizzle

How is Santa able to carry so many presents at once?

Santa isn't real.