What sound do dogs make?

3-year-old: Woof woof. Me: Horses 3: Neigh. Me: Pigs 3: Sizzle sizzle. Somebody understands bacon.

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Dog Jokes More Dog Jokes

What is the difference between walking a dog in America and China?

The spelling.

How do you find your dog if he's lost in the woods ?

Put your ear up to a tree and listen for the bark !

Horse Jokes More Horse Jokes

What did the horse say when he regained his vision?

Merci.

What animal always goes to bed with its shoes on ?

A horse !

3 Jokes More 3 Jokes

How does a Russian count '1 Mississippi, 2 Mississippi, 3 Mississippi...'?

1 CCCP, 2 CCCP, 3 CCCP... Iwillseemyselfout

How many telemarkers does it take to change a light bulb?

3. One to change the bulb and two to talk about how beautiful the turns were.

3 Year Old Jokes More 3 Year Old Jokes

What did you do at preschool?

3-year-old: We had to color inside the lines the WHOLE time. Me: 3-year-old: I need to lie down.

What's wrong ?

3-year-old: NOTHING! Phew! she's already a woman :-o

Understand Jokes More Understand Jokes

Why are most Muslims broke all the time?

They never understood the concept of piggy banks.

Why didn't the approaching black hole concern the astronaut?

He didn't understand the gravity of the situation.

Sound Jokes More Sound Jokes

What is loud and sounds like an apple?

AN APPLE!**

What sound does a pubic hair make right before it hits the floor?

Ptui"

Somebody Jokes More Somebody Jokes

What do you call somebody after you give them a noogie?

A knucklehead.

What did the hippie say when somebody told him to get off of their couch?

Namaste.

Pig Jokes More Pig Jokes

How did the pig get out of the tree?

The swine flu (joke my dad made up a couple years back during all this)

How do pigs gets to hospital?

In a hambulance

Bacon Jokes More Bacon Jokes

Why did the pig go into the kitchen?

Because he felt like BACON!

What's slimy, green, and smells like bacon?

Kermits finger.

Neigh Jokes More Neigh Jokes

What's Sarah Jessica Parker's favorite dance move?

The Neigh Neigh.

How do you get a unicorn from neighing in your front yard?

Put it in the back yard.