What sound do dogs make?

3-year-old: Woof woof. Me: Horses 3: Neigh. Me: Pigs 3: Sizzle sizzle. Somebody understands bacon.

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Dog Jokes More Dog Jokes

How to find out who loves you more - your dog or your wife?

Easy. Lock them both in a trunk and watch who will be happier to see you after you open it in 15 minutes.

Why dogs are called K9?

Because cats are K10

Horse Jokes More Horse Jokes

What does the horse call the pigs on his farm?

Neigh-boars.

Why is it good that accordionists have a half-ounce more brains than horses?

A: So they don't disgrace themselves in parades.

3 Jokes More 3 Jokes

What has 3 thumbs and was born near a nuclear power plant?

This guy

What do you call a cow that's missing a leg?

A 3 legged cow

3 Year Old Jokes More 3 Year Old Jokes

Why does the house only have one window?

Cheeseburger (joke from my 3 year old neice this evening)

What did you get me for Mother's Day?

3-year-old: A cake. Wife: Where is it 3: You haven't made it yet.

Understand Jokes More Understand Jokes

What did the thunder say when it understood the joke?

I feel so enlightninged!

Why did the English teacher hire a midget geography nut as his lawyer?

He wanted someone who understood and case.

Sound Jokes More Sound Jokes

What did the doctor say to the lizard who was complaining about problems performing in the bedroom?

It sounds like you have a reptile dysfunction.

What's the last sound you hear before a pube hits the floor?

tppppthh...."spit sound"

Somebody Jokes More Somebody Jokes

How do you get rid of somebody?

Give them a ticket for a flight on Malaysian Airlines and hope that they will live up to their reputation!

What's the easiest way to tell if somebody's lying?

He/she's not sitting or standing!

Pig Jokes More Pig Jokes

What do you get when you cross a pig with a canary?

I don't know but when it sits on your electric wire and sings all your lights go out

Why did the pigs paint their hoofs green?

It was Saint Patrick's Day.

Bacon Jokes More Bacon Jokes

What did the bacon say to the sandwich?

This club can't even handle me right now

What is small furry and smells like bacon ?

A hamster !

Neigh Jokes More Neigh Jokes

How do you get a unicorn from neighing in your front yard?

Put it in the back yard.

What does the horse call the pigs on his farm?

Neigh-boars.