Why does Mom wear makeup?

Me: To look pretty. 5: But she's already pretty. Me: Aww. 5: Dad, you should wear makeup.

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Look Jokes More Look Jokes

Why does your face look like a donut?

me 30 minutes into dieting

How do you get herpes viral infection of the eye?

Looking for love in all the wrong places.

Dad Jokes More Dad Jokes

What's something white people can call other white people but black people can't call other black people?

Dad.

What would Joan Rivers be doing if she was alive right now?

Scratching at the inside of her coffin. Courtesy of my dad.

Mom Jokes More Mom Jokes

What do your mom and the Baltimore Police have in common?

They both like giving nickel rides to black men!

Why was the strawberry sad?

His mom was in a jam!

Wear Jokes More Wear Jokes

How do you pick out the Christian Terrorist out of a crowd?

Find the guy wearing a rebel flag.

What did the salad wearing a tuxedo say?

I feel a bit overdressed."

5 Jokes More 5 Jokes

Why is he crying?

Me: That's a teardrop tattoo. 5: Oh. Did he shank someone in prison M: What 5: Remind him I want extra guacamole.

What does fast and furious 5 and the walking dead have in common?

They both have dead walkers.

Makeup Jokes More Makeup Jokes

How awful do I look?

Him: You always look beautiful. Me: Do I need to put makeup on Him: Maybe just a... *stare* Him: No.

Why are you putting on makeup, Mommy?

Me: So I look less tired. 3: Why are you tired Me: Because I'm a mom. 3: Why are you a mom Me: 3:

Aww Jokes More Aww Jokes

Why does Mom wear makeup?

Me: To look pretty. 5: But she's already pretty. Me: Aww. 5: Dad, you should wear makeup.

Why are you still using it?

Sentimental attachment. -It just caught fire. -Aww, just like old times.