Why does Mom wear makeup?

Me: To look pretty. 5: But she's already pretty. Me: Aww. 5: Dad, you should wear makeup.

Previous Random Joke Next
Look Jokes More Look Jokes

How do you know a North Korean robbed your house?

All your printer paper is gone and when you look at the printer history it's all Kim Jong-un.

What was that?

4-year-old: Nothing. Me: 4: Me: OK. Parenting is easier than it looks.

Dad Jokes More Dad Jokes

What's your dad do?

Kid: My dad He's an actor Me: Why Couldn't you get a real dad

What do you call an Ent prince who betrays his dad?

Treason

Mom Jokes More Mom Jokes

What's updog?

Mom: Just waking you up for school, dog, what's up wit u Dad (from hallway): OWNED

When my girlfriend asks "mom, what are you doing!?

I reply "Taxes."

Wear Jokes More Wear Jokes

Why does a blond wear a tight skirt?

To keep here legs closed.

Why does Batman wear a mask?

Because the citizens of Gotham aren't morons, like those idiots over in Metropolis

5 Jokes More 5 Jokes

What do you call a 5' 2" fortune teller that has escaped from prison?

A small medium at large

What happens if the baby pees?

Pregnant wife: She won't. She waits till she's born 5: Right. Just like no one pees in the pool

Makeup Jokes More Makeup Jokes

Why do soccer players not play in the rain?

It makes their makeup run.

How awful do I look?

Him: You always look beautiful. Me: Do I need to put makeup on Him: Maybe just a... *stare* Him: No.

Aww Jokes More Aww Jokes

Why are you still using it?

Sentimental attachment. -It just caught fire. -Aww, just like old times.

Why does Mom wear makeup?

Me: To look pretty. 5: But she's already pretty. Me: Aww. 5: Dad, you should wear makeup.