Why does Mom wear makeup?

Me: To look pretty. 5: But she's already pretty. Me: Aww. 5: Dad, you should wear makeup.

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Look Jokes More Look Jokes

What does a racist joke and a crime have in common?

They both start with you looking over your shoulder.

What did the digital clock say to the grandfather clock?

Look, no hands!

Dad Jokes More Dad Jokes

Why do you smell like weed?

Me: How do you know what weed smells like ! Busted, mister! You're grounded for a week. Dad: Okaayy :(

What do my dad and Carly Rae Jepsen have in common?

They both said they were just going to the store

Mom Jokes More Mom Jokes

What do you call a cow... With three legs?

Lean beef. What do you call a cow with no legs That's right! Ground beef. What do you call a cow with two legs .... YOUR MOM.

What weighs more than a car and uses a lot of fuel, but hardly ever moves?

Your mom.

Wear Jokes More Wear Jokes

Why do golfers wear two pairs of pants?

In case they get a hole in one!

What do you call a root vegetable wearing a tank top?

A bro-tato

5 Jokes More 5 Jokes

How do you split $6 between 5 mexicans?

You cut *Juan* out.

How do you cut a turd into 5 pieces?

Squish it in your hand.

Makeup Jokes More Makeup Jokes

Why do women wear makeup and perfume?

Because they are ugly and they stink.

Why doesn't Asia wear makeup?

Because it clogs its SINGAPORES!

Aww Jokes More Aww Jokes

How many cancer patients does it take to change a lightbulb?

One, and ten people to stand around clapping and saying "Aww, how brave."

Why does Mom wear makeup?

Me: To look pretty. 5: But she's already pretty. Me: Aww. 5: Dad, you should wear makeup.