Makeup Jokes

Why do women wear makeup and perfume?

Because they are ugly and they stink.

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Why doesn't Asia wear makeup?

Because it clogs its SINGAPORES!

Why do soccer players not play in the rain?

It makes their makeup run.

How awful do I look?

Him: You always look beautiful. Me: Do I need to put makeup on Him: Maybe just a... *stare* Him: No.

Why are you putting on makeup, Mommy?

Me: So I look less tired. 3: Why are you tired Me: Because I'm a mom. 3: Why are you a mom Me: 3:

Why does Mom wear makeup?

Me: To look pretty. 5: But she's already pretty. Me: Aww. 5: Dad, you should wear makeup.

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Which insect didn't play well in goal ?

The fumble bee !

Why did the elf have to play with Mega Bloks?

Because he was Legoless

Aww Jokes More Aww Jokes

Why are you still using it?

Sentimental attachment. -It just caught fire. -Aww, just like old times.

How many cancer patients does it take to change a lightbulb?

One, and ten people to stand around clapping and saying "Aww, how brave."

3 Jokes More 3 Jokes

How did 3 know 4 was a Ballerina?

He had a 2-2.

What do you call a terrorist on the moon?

A problem. What do you call when 3 terrorists are on the moon? A problem. What do you call when all the terrorists are on the moon? A solution.

Mommy Jokes More Mommy Jokes

Where did you learn to do that?

Don't wipe boogers on Mommy's pillow! Wipe it on Daddy's

Why does Mommy always say no?

Well Son, if Mommy said yes all the time you'd have 20 more siblings.

Girl Jokes More Girl Jokes

Why didn't the girl cross the street?

She didn't have the balls

What do guys like but are afraid of?

Girls

5 Jokes More 5 Jokes

Why can't French people count to 5?

Because there's a in the way.

What weebles and wobbles but can't get up?

Grandpa having a seizure. Bonus: Statistically speaking, 1 in 5 adult men

Mom Jokes More Mom Jokes

What did the black kid say to his mom when he had diarrhea?

Help! I'm melting!

What do you get when you cross my mom with my dad?

I don't know, but my Dad said it was a mistake.

Look Jokes More Look Jokes

Why did Luke Skywalker and Princess Leia never get together?

Because Luke was looking for love in Alderaan places!!

Why do cool guys never look at explosions?

Because they die in them.