Makeup Jokes

Why do women wear makeup and perfume?

Because they are ugly and they stink.

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Why doesn't Asia wear makeup?

Because it clogs its SINGAPORES!

Why do soccer players not play in the rain?

It makes their makeup run.

How awful do I look?

Him: You always look beautiful. Me: Do I need to put makeup on Him: Maybe just a... *stare* Him: No.

Why are you putting on makeup, Mommy?

Me: So I look less tired. 3: Why are you tired Me: Because I'm a mom. 3: Why are you a mom Me: 3:

Why does Mom wear makeup?

Me: To look pretty. 5: But she's already pretty. Me: Aww. 5: Dad, you should wear makeup.

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Autobot Jokes More Autobot Jokes

What do you call an Autobot who works in an overpriced makeup store at the mall ?

Ulta Magnus!

What did the autobots call Optimus Prime after he died?

Posthumous Prime

Wear Jokes More Wear Jokes

What is Madonna's least favourite band?

Get Cape. Wear Cape. Fly

Why did the mermaid wear sea shells?

Cause she was too big for B- shells! (my 6 year old niece likes to tell this joke)

Mall Jokes More Mall Jokes

Why did Jared decide to gain all of his weight back?

The mall is hiring new Santas.

What do you call an Autobot who works in an overpriced makeup store at the mall ?

Ulta Magnus!

Woman Jokes More Woman Jokes

How many women does it take to screw a lightbulb?

Only one, but with a perticular FETISH

What do you call a woman who is paralysed from the waist down?

Married.

Play Jokes More Play Jokes

Why did a pair of tomatoes play footsie?

To-mate-toes!

What video game system do police officers play in their cars?

Wii U, Wii U, Wii U...

Perfume Jokes More Perfume Jokes

Why do women wear makeup and perfume?

Because they are ugly and they stink.

How do you feel about perfumes being designed by computers?

Because I think it makes perfect scents.

Aww Jokes More Aww Jokes

How many cancer patients does it take to change a lightbulb?

One, and ten people to stand around clapping and saying "Aww, how brave."

Why are you still using it?

Sentimental attachment. -It just caught fire. -Aww, just like old times.

Stink Jokes More Stink Jokes

What does a rock put on when it stinks?

Geodorant.

Why did the cop stink?

Because he fell asleep on duty.