Makeup Jokes

Why do women wear makeup and perfume?

Because they are ugly and they stink.

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Why doesn't Asia wear makeup?

Because it clogs its SINGAPORES!

Why do soccer players not play in the rain?

It makes their makeup run.

How awful do I look?

Him: You always look beautiful. Me: Do I need to put makeup on Him: Maybe just a... *stare* Him: No.

Why are you putting on makeup, Mommy?

Me: So I look less tired. 3: Why are you tired Me: Because I'm a mom. 3: Why are you a mom Me: 3:

Why does Mom wear makeup?

Me: To look pretty. 5: But she's already pretty. Me: Aww. 5: Dad, you should wear makeup.

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5 Jokes More 5 Jokes

Why was 4 afraid of 5?

Because 5 was a Registered Six Offender. Edit: a word.

Why were Star Wars Episodes 4, 5, and 6 released before 1, 2, and 3?

Because in charge of scheduling, Yoda was.

3 Jokes More 3 Jokes

How many snowboarders does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

A: 50: 3 to die trying, 1 to actually pull it off, and 46 other to say, "man, I could do that!"

Why are people who suffers from insomnia so excited at the moment?

They only have to sleep 3 more times until Christmas

Wear Jokes More Wear Jokes

How can you tell retarded kids form the art students?

Retards don't wear Black.

Who might you be?

I AM THORRRR!!!" His horse perks up and says "Well, then wear a thaddle thilly."

America Jokes More America Jokes

Why were the Native Americans in America before us?

They had reservations.

Why Can't America tell knock knock jokes?

Cause' freedom RINGS!

Smell Jokes More Smell Jokes

What is the one smell you can never get out of the house, no matter what you spray or what incense you burn?

Your grandparents.

When do you kick a midget in the nuts?

When he stands next to your girlfriend and says her hair smells nice.

Soccer Player Jokes More Soccer Player Jokes

Why don't soccer players get hot while running?

Because they hve so many fans

What STD did the US Soccer player get during the 2014 World Cup?

Ghana-RIO!

Look Jokes More Look Jokes

How does every ethnic joke start?

By looking over your shoulder.

Why did the bald man paint rabbits on his head?

Because from a distance, they looked like hare.

Perfume Jokes More Perfume Jokes

What type of perfume do kidnappers use?

chloroform

What sort of perfume do snakes prefer ?

Poison by Christian Dior !