Why isn't Sean Connery allowed to play Super Mario Bros. any more?

He kept trying to shave the princess.

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What did they call it when NHL officials refused to allow a hamburger to play hockey in the league?

Rink injustice!

Why are Jedis allowed to use negative numbers?

Because only Siths deal in absolutes.

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What happened to the cow when she tried to jump over the barbed wire fence?

Udder destruction.

What would be the perfect theme song to Oscar Pistorius kicking trying to kick down a bathroom door?

Good Vibrations

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How do you stop squirrels playing football in the garden?

Hide the ball it drives them nuts!

Why did Clemson choose orange as its team color?

So they could play football on Saturday, go hunting on Sunday, and pick up garbage the rest of the week.

Shave Jokes More Shave Jokes

What do you call shaving a crazy sheep?

Shear madness.

What happens when a cow stops shaving?

It grows a Moostache.

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What time did Sean Connery arrive at Wimbledon?

Around Ten-ish.

When does Sean Connery like to show up at Wimbeldon?

Tennish.

Princess Jokes More Princess Jokes

What do Super Mario Brothers, and relationships have in common?

Sometimes you have to slay a few dragons before you get to the princess

Why isn't Sean Connery allowed to play Super Mario Bros. any more?

He kept trying to shave the princess.

Super Mario Bros Jokes More Super Mario Bros Jokes

Why isn't Sean Connery allowed to play Super Mario Bros. any more?

He kept trying to shave the princess.

What kind of pants do the Super Mario Bros. wear?

Denim denim denim..... I'll see myself out.