Why isn't Sean Connery allowed to play Super Mario Bros. any more?

He kept trying to shave the princess.

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What did people start calling the medical school that allowed animals to study medicine?

The hippocampus.

Why Aren't SJW's Allowed In The Military?

They are too trigger-happy.

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What did Reddit say to his elderly mother when he tried to take her to a home?

Get in the Karma.

What do you call a Pokemon who is trying to quit smoking?

Vaporeon

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What do you call an ant who can't play the piano ?

Discordant !

What do baby pythons play with?

Rattle-snakes.

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Why do sumo wrestlers shave their legs?

So people don't confuse them for feminists.

Why is it easier for women to shave "downstairs" than men?

They don't have to go through as many obsticles.

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What is Sean Connery's favorite dish?

A seizure salad.

Where does Sean Connery keep his guns?

In the library of course. They're for shelf-defense.

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How do you upset a plumber?

Kidnap his princess.

What do you call a man whose wife was the Queen, his daughter a Princess and his boss an Emperor, but he himself is no royal?

Darth Vader.

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Why isn't Sean Connery allowed to play Super Mario Bros. any more?

He kept trying to shave the princess.

What's the difference between a cow and Super Mario Bros?

A cow can't be milked for over 30 years