Why isn't Sean Connery allowed to play Super Mario Bros. any more?

He kept trying to shave the princess.

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What is a crevice that is owned by someone and not allowed to be stepped into?

None of your abyss-ness

Why should the Roman Catholic Church allow priests to marry?

They would have a more detailed understanding of what Hell is actually like.

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Why did helium get into a fight with neon?

They can't bond with each other, no matter how hard they try.

Why do Germans make such good cars?

To try and make up for the Holocaust.

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What do you call a girl who plays tennis on her knees?

Courtney.

What's the most popular game to play in jail?

Smash Brothers

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Why do sumo wrestles shave their legs?

So that you can tell them apart from feminists

Why do sumo wrestlers shave their balls?

So they don't have hairballs!

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Where does Sean Connery sit?

In the toilet.

What does a lonely Sean Connery building IKEA products say?

I guess its jusht me, myshelf, and I tonight.

Princess Jokes More Princess Jokes

What do Super Mario Brothers, and relationships have in common?

Sometimes you have to slay a few dragons before you get to the princess

What did the princess say when she got to the ball?

garglgarglgarglgarglgargl

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What denomination are the coins in Super Mario Bros?

They're dollar coins, because a quarter is two bits, which means a dollar is 8 bits.

What kind of pants do the Super Mario Bros. wear?

Denim denim denim..... I'll see myself out.