1st Jokes

How does John Marston take a shower?

1st he gets nice and wet, then he dies of drowning

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Whats the different between falling from the 10th floor and falling from the 1st floor ?

The sound you make 10th floor " AHHHHHHHHH " 1st floor " AHHHHHHHHHH "

What's the difference between someone falling from 21st floor and 1st floor?

21st floor person goes: AHHHHHHHHHH 1st floor goes: AHHHHHHHHHH

Why did the skull win 1st place in the race?

Because he ran ahead.

How do you jump out of a fifteen-floors building without getting hurt?

You jump from the 1st one.

What's the difference between falling from the 1st and 10th floor?

Falling from the 1st floor: SPLAT! HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! Falling from the 10th floor: HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! SPLAT!

Why did the cops show up at the elementary school?

A 1st grader was resisting a rest.

What's the difference between a guy falling from the 20th or the 1st floor of a building?

20th floor fall goes: *Aaaaaah, BAM!* 1st floor fall goes: *BAM, Aaaaah!*

What is the difference between falling from the 1st floor and from the 10th floor?

1st floor : Splat, aaaaaahhh 10th floor: aaaaahhhh, Splat

Who's that?

Darth Vader." "Was he 1 of Jesus disciples " "I dunno, I've only seen the 1st movie."

Why does it take longer to get from 1st to 2nd base, than it does to get from 2nd to 3rd base?

Because there’s a Shortstop in between!

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Die Jokes More Die Jokes

Why did the two most senior nuns in the convent break up a German terror plot to steal millions in bearer bonds?

Old habits die hard

What do you call a blonde who dies her hair brown?

A. Artificial intelligence.

School Jokes More School Jokes

What do you call a teacher who's always late for school?

Mr Bus.

Where do OB/GYNs go to school?

Gynecolleges.

Run Jokes More Run Jokes

What's the difference between Politicians and Thieves?

Thief: They steal your money then run Politician: They run and then steal your money

Why can't Mexicans win the Olympics?

Because every one that can run, jump or swim has already crossed the border.

Sound Jokes More Sound Jokes

What does it sound like when a pterodactyl uses the bathroom?

Nothing, the pee is silent

What sound does a Hispanic pacman make?

Guac-a Guac-a!

January 1st Jokes More January 1st Jokes

What is the most popular birthday based on Internet records?

January 1st, 1993

Why shouldn't you kiss someone on January 1st?

because its the first date

Jump Jokes More Jump Jokes

Why didn't you talk to me about renting a bouncy house?

me stops jumping: You would have said no

Why did the chicken jump into the bag of popcorn?

The kernel was looking for him.

Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What is the difference between a battery and a woman?

A battery has a positive side.

What's the difference between a paycheck and a pen*s?

You don't have to beg your wife to blow your paycheck.

Galaxy Jokes More Galaxy Jokes

Why did Yoda need a stepladder in the chocolate shop?

Because he was reaching for a galaxy far, far away.

What is a flea's favourite book ?

The itch-hikers guide to the galaxy !