Access Jokes

What's the difference between USB and USA?

One connects to all your devices and access your data, one connects to all your devices and access your data.

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What's the difference between USA and USB?

One connects to all your devices & accesses your data, and the other is a hardware standard

What do a stoner lost in the desert and Bolivia have in common?

They're both really high and have no access to water.

How do trees access the internet?

They log on

Why is it a good idea to put your money in the freezer, instead of the bank?

So you always have access to cold hard cash...

What's the difference between a USB and the USA?

One connects to all your devices and accesses your data, the other is a harware standard.

Who is your most disgruntled employee?

and "2: Does he have access to a mask shop "

Why should every woman know a C++ programmer?

Because they'll always let friends access their private members. Ba dum tiss.

How many North Koreans does it take to change a light bulb?

One, only **Glorious Leader** gets access to light bulbs

How does a tree access the internet?

It logs on.

What does a Soldier and a Shoulder have in common?

They have access to arms.

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Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

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Woman Jokes More Woman Jokes

Why was he woman arrested on a cattle ranch for wearing a silk dress?

She was charged with rustling!

Which is easier for a man to leave: the women or the Wine?

A: It depends on the age.

Usb Jokes More Usb Jokes

What do you call a bee that lives in America?

A USB.

How do you call a USB stick in Russia?

A put-in

C Programmer Jokes More C Programmer Jokes

How many C++ programmers does it take to change a light bulb?

You're still thinking procedurally! A properly designed light bulb object would inherit a change method from a generic light bulb class!"

What does a PASCAL programmer say to a C programmer?

A: "Would you like fries with that "

Good Idea Jokes More Good Idea Jokes

What do you call a deer that has really good eyesight?

Good idea. Hint: Good eye-deeeeah

Why is it always a good idea to pack asparagus when you go camping?

In case your other agus breaks.

Friend Jokes More Friend Jokes

Why couldn't Stevie Wonder see his friends?

Because he was married.

How many plug-in air fresheners does it take to mask the decay of human flesh?

I'm asking for for a friend.

Stoner Jokes More Stoner Jokes

What do you get when you cross a stoner with a halo nerd?

Masterchief

How do you get a stoner to comprehend what you're saying?

Put it bluntly.

Light Bulb Jokes More Light Bulb Jokes

How many existentialists does it take to change a light-bulb?

Two, one to change the light-bulb, and one to observe how it symbolizes an incandescent beacon of subjectivity in a netherworld of cosmic nothingness. This is courtesy of Spencer Reid.(CM)

How many Black Lives Matters protesters does it take to change a light bulb?

Don't be silly, Black Lives Matters protesters can't change anything.

2 Jokes More 2 Jokes

Why don't the French need air conditioner?

They use 2-in-1 shampoo

What do a Pediatrician and Podiatrist have in common?

Their patients are 2'