Bear Hand Jokes

How does Winnie the Pooh open his honey pot?

With his bear hands. Thank the Chive for that one.

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How does a grizzly catch fish?

With his bear hands!

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Baseball Jokes More Baseball Jokes

Why did the farmer call his horse Baseball?

Because it's covered with horsehide!

How are a full count in baseball and a mutated 2 time convict the same?

They both have 3 balls and 2 strikes.

Thank Jokes More Thank Jokes

What do you call a person who helps teach others to fart?

A tooter. (thanks, honey)

Why do they thank me in the cafeteria when I pay for my food like I had a choice?

Just tell me "enjoy the diarrhea" and I'll move along.

Panda Jokes More Panda Jokes

What do you call a panda who's legs don't work?

Pandapalegic

Why are Panda's always sad?

Because all their friends are dead.

Catch Jokes More Catch Jokes

What did one tower say to the other?

I've got a plane to catch

Why was the tired criminal delighted when he was caught by the police?

Because he needed *arrest*!!!

Open Jokes More Open Jokes

How many men does it take to open a can of beer?

None. She should have opened it as she brought it to you.

Why are teachers always making answer keys?

So they can open doors of opportunity for their students.

Winnie Jokes More Winnie Jokes

What do Winnie the Pooh and Attila the Hun have in common?

The same middle name.

What do you call the things on the end of Winnie the Pooh's feet?

Putos (Ask your Mexican friend)

Glove Jokes More Glove Jokes

What did the little boy with no hands get for Christmas?

Gloves. Just kidding, he hasn't opened them yet.

What makes an ideal present for a monster?

Five pairs of gloves one for each hand.

Pooh Jokes More Pooh Jokes

What 2 things do Winnie the Pooh and John the Baptist have in common?

They both ate honey and they both have the same middle name.

What do John the Baptist and Winnie the Pooh have in common?

They have the same middle name!