Bond Mature Jokes

Whats the difference between a man and a government bond?

The bond matures.

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What's the difference between a government bond and a man?

The bond matures.*

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Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What's the difference between a Hippo and a Zippo?

A Hippo is heavy and a Zippo is a little lighter.

What is the difference between a baby and a feminist?

The baby grows up and learns to stop crying.

Bond Jokes More Bond Jokes

Why don't Bond villains feel cold in the winter?

Because they dress in lairs.

What is 007's favorite subject at school?

Chemistry, because he knows a lot about bonds!

Money Jokes More Money Jokes

What do you calla person that inherits a lot of money?

A millionheir.

What do you call a woman who sets all her money on fire?

Bernadette!

Government Bond Jokes More Government Bond Jokes

What is the difference between a guitar player and government bonds?

Government bonds mature over time and earn money

Whats the difference between a man and a government bond?

The bond matures.

Time Jokes More Time Jokes

What do you call a prehistoric humanoid who likes to take his time?

A meander-thal!

Why Do Philosophers Have Such Good Teeth?

Because they philos all the time!

Man Jokes More Man Jokes

What's a blind mans worst fear ?

A prius

What's one thing a man doesn't want to hear the morning after?

Yes, I'm completely sure.

Begin Jokes More Begin Jokes

What does every funeral begin with?

fun!

What did the mother of the guy who broke his arms say at the beginning of every 'session'?

ssh bby is ok

Guitar Player Jokes More Guitar Player Jokes

How many guitar players does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

2 . One to screw it in and another to say, "I could do that".

How many guitar players does it take to change a light bulb?

Ten: one to screw it in and nine to say, "Pssh, I can do that."