Earn Jokes

Who earns a living driving their customers away?

A taxi driver

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Why did the scarecrow earn an achievement award?

He was outstanding in his field

What's the stupidest, most useless comment that can still earn you some karma?

This

What is the difference between a guitar player and government bonds?

Government bonds mature over time and earn money

Why did the scarecrow earn a promotion?

Because it was outstanding in its field

What's the fastest way to earn money as a photographer?

By selling your camera.

What must a vampire earn to learn to fly?

His red wings.

What's the difference between a guitar player and a savings bond?

Eventually the savings bond will mature and begin to earn money.

Why is it easy to talk to people who earn little pay?

Because they make cents!

What do you call a capitalist Bernie Sanders?

Earning Sanders.

How does a fencer earn their karma?

Ripostes.

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Government Bond Jokes More Government Bond Jokes

What is the difference between a guitar player and government bonds?

Government bonds mature over time and earn money

What's the difference between men and government bonds?

Bonds mature.

Customer Jokes More Customer Jokes

Why was the juice company losing customers?

There was no punch-line.

What did the shoe say about the customer who didn't like that it had yellow shoestring?

That's lacist.

Live Jokes More Live Jokes

What do Jesus and a nerd have in common?

Both are long-haired, live at their parents' till their 30's, and if they'll do anything, it is considered a miracle.

Why is it really hard to convince Egyptians?

Because they all live in de-nile...

Begin Jokes More Begin Jokes

What word begins with "N" and ends in "R" that I wouldn't want to call a black guy?

Neighbor.

How do police informants begin their jokes?

Nark Nark

Mature Jokes More Mature Jokes

What's the difference between men and government bonds?

Bonds mature.

Why women mature faster than men?

Because men start growing breasts only after 40 years old.

Riposte Jokes More Riposte Jokes

Why does /r/jokes love fencing?

They've all mastered the riposte.

What do you call a clever repost?

A riposte.

Talk Jokes More Talk Jokes

Whats common between the world trade centres and genders?

There were once two but now they're too offensive to talk about.

What does Ellen Pao have in common with the girl's mom from 'The Sixth Sense'?

The both have no idea why everyone stopped talking and just stared at her.

Karma Jokes More Karma Jokes

What's the one thing missing from the offensive jokes on r/jokes?

Karma, Whores.

Who has the most karma on Reddit?

Buddha.