Candy Bar Jokes

What's the best part about being an orphan?

All your chips and candy bars are family sized.

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How many NRA members does it take to stop a 6-year-old paraplegic from stealing a candy bar?

Nobody knows - they usually lose count at 800 rounds.

How does a candy bar laugh?

It snickers

What did the clerk say to the customer who tried to buy a candy bar with plastic quarters?

This is non-cents!

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Non Jokes More Non Jokes

Why do they call it a non-sequitur?

Riot gear.

What's the best part of an asynchronous dog?

It's non barking! Hopefully some software people get this one

Candy Jokes More Candy Jokes

Why do they print nutritional information on Snickers bars?

If you don't know candy is bad for you, what are the chances you can read

Which do you choose?

WRONG. Neither. Don't ever take my candy.

Isis Jokes More Isis Jokes

What do you get when Italians join ISIS?

Baked Yazidi

What's the difference between parents who don't vaccinate their children and ISIS?

One is a group made up of radicals with extremist views. And the other group is ISIS.

Mexican Jokes More Mexican Jokes

What's a Mexican midget barbers favorite restaurant?

Little Cesar's

What did the American Army General say after the first opposing casualty in the Mexican-American War?

Juan down, a million more to go.

Wolverine Jokes More Wolverine Jokes

What did storm say when she saw wolverine chopping wood?

That's a huge axe man!

How is Wolverine's love life similar to a mishap at the laundromat?

Someone else goes home with their Jeans.

Orphan Jokes More Orphan Jokes

What do orphans get at Christmas?

Lonely.

What did the orphan get for Christmas?

A family.

Snicker Jokes More Snicker Jokes

Why was the man intently watching the bowl of snickers?

He wanted to see who would have the last laugh. back to work...

What's the difference between a Snickers and my girlfriend?

Snickers satisfies.

Nra Jokes More Nra Jokes

How many NRA spokesmen does it take to change a lightbulb?

More guns!

What's the difference between David Blaine and the NRA?

The former has a cunning array of stunts