Dead Giveaway Jokes

What's the definition of a will?

It's a dead giveaway.

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Why don't you have to pay for the items on a will?

It's a dead giveaway...

How do you define a will?

Hint: It's a dead giveaway.

Why don't undertakers provide free services?

That would be a dead giveaway.

What do you call a will?

a dead giveaway

What is a dead giveaway someone has no idea what they are doing?

They have an engineering degree.

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Provide Jokes More Provide Jokes

Why do arabs use Colgate before going to the airport?

because it provides cavity protection

How many assholes does it take to change a lightbulb?

It doesn't matter, mine itches so bad it's on fire, providing plenty of light for everyone in the room!

Definition Jokes More Definition Jokes

What is the definition of a farmer!?

Someone who is out-standing in his field!

What's the definition of divorce?

The screwing you get for the screwing you got!

Undertaker Jokes More Undertaker Jokes

What did the undertaker say as the coffin fell out of the car?

We'll have to rehearse that."

What does one call an undertaker that's been drafted into the Military?

A Corpseman. Painfully obvious, yet a terrible play on the English language, I know. It was something I came up with a few years ago, for some unknown reason.

Define Jokes More Define Jokes

What about you?

me: define "child"

What did God say to the alcoholic spelling bee judge?

Define intervention." Came up with this today at work.

Item Jokes More Item Jokes

Where can you find the best Black Friday deals with items at 100% off?

Ferguson!

What is one item which has never been affected by inflation?

Deer's Balls There are always under a buck

Idea Jokes More Idea Jokes

Why was the lightbulb invented?

Somebody had an idea.

What appears over black man's head when he has an idea?

A fried Chicken leg

Hint Jokes More Hint Jokes

How does the quadriplegic cross the free way?

I'll give you a hint... Take the "F" out of "free" and the "F" out of "way".

What do you call a deer that has really good eyesight?

Good idea. Hint: Good eye-deeeeah

Pay Jokes More Pay Jokes

What's your five-year goal?

Me: Paid administrative leave.

What's one advantage of electing a woman president of the United States?

We wouldn't have to pay her as much.