Dead Giveaway Jokes

What's the definition of a will?

It's a dead giveaway.

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Why don't you have to pay for the items on a will?

It's a dead giveaway...

How do you define a will?

Hint: It's a dead giveaway.

Why don't undertakers provide free services?

That would be a dead giveaway.

What do you call a will?

a dead giveaway

What is a dead giveaway someone has no idea what they are doing?

They have an engineering degree.

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Undertaker Jokes More Undertaker Jokes

What did the undertaker say as the coffin fell out of the car?

We'll have to rehearse that."

What does one call an undertaker that's been drafted into the Military?

A Corpseman. Painfully obvious, yet a terrible play on the English language, I know. It was something I came up with a few years ago, for some unknown reason.

Define Jokes More Define Jokes

How many philosophers does it take to... ...change a light bulb?

Define "light bulb".

How do you define a will?

Hint: It's a dead giveaway.

Come Jokes More Come Jokes

Why did the snowman pull down his pants?

Because he saw the snowblower coming

What's the difference between this morning and your wife?

I'm not coming in *this morning*"

Pay Jokes More Pay Jokes

How do you make a horomone?

You don't pay her. (My mom is sick. Hilarious. But sick. )

What celebrity never payed with a cheque or credit?

Johnny Cash.

Hint Jokes More Hint Jokes

Why do Polish hate Cauchy's dog?

hint on Cauchy-Riemann theorem) A: Because it leaves residues at each Pole.

What's the most 'Spoken' language on Earth?

Hint: It's not English Spanish.

Provide Jokes More Provide Jokes

Why was the guy from 127 Hours arrested for espionage?

He was proven guilty of providing arms to Iraq

When asked to provide proof that he had cirrhosis, what did OP do?

OP de-livered.

Item Jokes More Item Jokes

Where can you find the best Black Friday deals with items at 100% off?

Ferguson!

What is one item which has never been affected by inflation?

Deer's Balls There are always under a buck

Idea Jokes More Idea Jokes

Where do conspiracy theorists keep their ideas?

In a skeptic tank. (Note: I just made up this joke earlier today. I'm not 100% sure the joke is obvious feel free to suggest a better wording!)

What's that hangin' off ye?

The pirate responds, "arrr! I've no idea, but it's drivin' me nuts!"