Provide Jokes

Why was the guy from 127 Hours arrested for espionage?

He was proven guilty of providing arms to Iraq

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

5.0

Coffee Mug

When asked to provide proof that he had cirrhosis, what did OP do?

OP de-livered.

How does a Syrian family have a meal?

The men provide the food and the women do the cooking, leaving the children to wash up afterwards.

Why do arabs use Colgate before going to the airport?

because it provides cavity protection

Why don't undertakers provide free services?

That would be a dead giveaway.

What do you get when you mix a public speaker with someone who had tourettes?

A clock! One provides the tic, the other provides the talk Credit to my Autistic Big Bro

How many calls do I get?

cop: one me: What do you think is more likely a lawyer delivering pizza or a dominos providing legal counsel

How about a game?

You provide a random set up and we provide the punchline (PTP ). Most upvoted wins imaginary internet points.

What's "saying grace?

Me: It's when we thank the one who provided our food. 4-year-old: We thank the microwave

Who currently provides your Internet?

he asked. I said, "My next door neighbour."

How many /r/twoxchromosomes posters does it take to change a lightbulb?

Ten. 1 to screw in the lightbulb, and the other 9 to provide emotional support.

Couple's Daily Question Mug

5.0

Coffee Mug

How many technical writers does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one provided there's a programmer around to explain how to do it.

How many assholes does it take to change a lightbulb?

It doesn't matter, mine itches so bad it's on fire, providing plenty of light for everyone in the room!

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Syrian Jokes More Syrian Jokes

What's the difference between a Syrian school and a terrorist camp?

I don't know, I'm just flying the drone

What should you not gift a Syrian this year?

A drone

Mix Jokes More Mix Jokes

Why did Gandhi lose the race?

I guess he got his fasts mixed up.

What do you get when when you mix cocaine and LSD?

Time

Op Jokes More Op Jokes

What's the best thing to say if a pizzaman does an AMA?

OP delivers.

What's the difference between OP and a Pregnant woman?

She delivers.

Tourette Jokes More Tourette Jokes

What do you call a T-Rex with tourettes?

I'm sorry.

What do you call a Russian with Tourette's syndrome?

Yukanol Fukov

Child Jokes More Child Jokes

What did the ant whisper into the elephant's ear that made the elephant faint?

I'm going to be the mother of your children." I have no idea whether the joke is lost in translation...

Why are foodfights forbidden in japanese schools?

The children always end up with lice in their hair.

Arm Jokes More Arm Jokes

What did the little boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas?

Cancer.

How do you get a one armed Canadian out of a tree?

Wave to him!

Arrest Jokes More Arrest Jokes

Why a giraffe got arrested while driving?

Coz he was high :D

Why black people are so good with basketball?

They can shoot and steal without being arrested.

Leave Jokes More Leave Jokes

What did the mother Buffalo say when her boy left for college?

BYE-SON!

What's the last thing they do to a Tickle-Me-Elmo doll before it leaves the factory?

Give it two test-tickles!