Espionage Jokes

Why was the guy from 127 Hours arrested for espionage?

He was proven guilty of providing arms to Iraq

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How do you combat espionage?

Umbreonage

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Arm Jokes More Arm Jokes

What do you call a turkey with no arms?

a turkey

What do you call a kid with no arms and an eyepatch?

Names!

Arrest Jokes More Arrest Jokes

Why did the bar owner by a diamond mine get arrested?

He attributed to the delinquency of a miner.

Why do rappers always get arrested?

Because he who did the rhyme did the crime

Provide Jokes More Provide Jokes

What do you get when you mix a public speaker with someone who had tourettes?

A clock! One provides the tic, the other provides the talk Credit to my Autistic Big Bro

How many assholes does it take to change a lightbulb?

It doesn't matter, mine itches so bad it's on fire, providing plenty of light for everyone in the room!

Prove Jokes More Prove Jokes

How did Einstein prove you can break the law of relativity?

He married his cousin.

How do you prove that your dog loves you more than your wife?

Lock them both in the trunk of the car for an hour, then open it up and see which one of them is happier to see you.

Iraq Jokes More Iraq Jokes

What did the Middle Eastern dishwasher say when his boss asked him what he did all day at work?

Iraq the dishes in the dish rack and Iran the dishwasher

Why was Gollum executed at a bar in Iraq?

Because he asked for Ice-es

Guy Jokes More Guy Jokes

What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs in the ocean?

Bob

What do you call it when guys find older women unusually attractive?

The Stunning-Cougar Effect.

Combat Jokes More Combat Jokes

How many guns do the US need to combat an enemy?

Two: one to shoot and one to sell him to shoot back.

What do snakes take to combat their allergies?

Anti-hissss-tamines!