Duct Jokes

What did the motivational speaker say to the duct?

You conduit!

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How much for that babysitter?

Ma'am, that's a roll of duct tape I'll take it!

What do you call Quicksilver when he's duct taping people's mouths?

A running gag.

What causes dry eyes?

Ducts out of water ...

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What's the deal with lampshades?

If your gonna turn on a light... Why shade it.

What's the difference between your mom and my computer?

I can still turn your mom on.

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Why are white prisoners so scary?

Because you know they did it.

What did Norman Bates call his little sister?

You know you see it coming...) A: Psycho-sis! (I won't let the doorknob hit me on the way out..)

Differ Jokes More Differ Jokes

How does a woman differ from a computer?

You can actually punch information into a computer.

How does a Confederate flag and a rainbow flag differ?

The latter represents people that win.

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What did the dumb Electrical Apprentice say to the journeyman?

I conduit

What do you say to give an electrician encouragement?

You conduit!"

Hold Jokes More Hold Jokes

What did the priest announce before he went for a bath?

Speak now or forever hold your pee!"

Where's the baby?

while holding the baby. I can't believe it was legal for me to reproduce.

Motivational Speaker Jokes More Motivational Speaker Jokes

What did the motivational speaker say to the duct?

You conduit!

What's the difference between a motivational speaker and a baseball player?

The baseball player has all of its limbs.

Water Jokes More Water Jokes

What do you call a retard covered in water?

Flame retardant

What causes dry eyes?

Ducts out of water ...

Babysitter Jokes More Babysitter Jokes

Who's yours?

Me: The babysitter

How many babysitters does it take to change a light bulb?

Are you joking? They can't even change a dirty diaper!