Hard Feeling Jokes

What did the man say to his wife when he failed to get an erection?

No hard feelings.

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What did the dog say to the vet that just castrated him?

No hard feelings.

What did the vet say to the dog he just castrated?

No hard feelings.

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100 Mile Jokes More 100 Mile Jokes

Where do cows stay when they go on vacation?

In a moooo-tel. I just thought of this sitting in my hotel room. Sometimes I feel like i dad joke so hard I impregnate my girlfriend from 100 miles away.

Whats green and goes round and round at 100 miles an hour ?

A frog in a blender !

Bed Jokes More Bed Jokes

Where can you find Jhene Aiko at Bed Peace?

At bed, blunt, and beyond. Bada tssss. I tried.

How do you stop a black kid from jumping on the bed?

tape velcro to the ceiling.

Stay Jokes More Stay Jokes

What's the first step of fire safety?

4-year-old: Stay away from dragons. Me: 4: Me: Well, obviously.

How do churches stay so strong?

They pray on the weak.

Hotel Room Jokes More Hotel Room Jokes

Why did the Native American feel so reluctant about booking a hotel room?

He had his reservations.

How Dave Grohl spent his night in his hotel room after the concert in Gothenburg, Sweden?

He watched movie Cast Away (starring Tom Hanks) and ate some potato chips.

Find Jokes More Find Jokes

Why cant orphans play baseball?

They cant find their home

How many blonde's does it take to change a light bulb?

A. 3. 1 to find the bulb 1 to find a ladder and 1 to find a man.

Long Time Jokes More Long Time Jokes

Why did Woodrow Wilson take a long time to turn around?

Because he could only make 14 point turns.

Why was the blonde staring at the box of orange juice for a long time?

because it said "CONCENTRATE"

Vet Jokes More Vet Jokes

Why Chinese vet never hungry?

Dog have rice.

What do you call a vet that can only work on one animal?

A doctor

Dad Jokes More Dad Jokes

What happened to your car?

SON: Transmission is shot. Reverse doesn't work. DAD: Well... SON: Don't- DAD: There's no going back now

How would you like to make a donation to our local orphanage?

Dad: yea sure yells up to me son, you live with this guy now!