Heinz Jokes

What is Walter White's favourite brand of ketchup?

Heinz-enburg.

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

Coffee Mug

Why are your eyes covered in ketchup?

I'm often asked by people: "Why are your eyes covered in ketchup " So I tell them it's because Heinz sight is 20/20.

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Tell Jokes More Tell Jokes

How do you tell 2 Scotsmen apart?

You lift their kilts, and whichever one of them has a Quarter Pounder is a McDonald!

What is the worst part about being told you have Alzheimer's?

It never happens just once.

2020 Jokes More 2020 Jokes

Why do people keep asking me what I'm going to be doing in three years?

I don't have 2020 vision.

What should Bernie Sanders' next presidential campaign be called?

Hindsight is 2020

Cover Jokes More Cover Jokes

What you call a crocodile covered with tortillas?

A tacodile

What do you call it when ISIS soldiers run for cover?

100 meter Daesh

People Jokes More People Jokes

Why do people admire pirates so much?

They have nerves of steal.

Why is it hard to hold a speech at a nudist convention?

It does not help to imagine people in their underwear.

Walter White Jokes More Walter White Jokes

What direction does a Walter White-themed GPS tell you to turn?

Goddamn right.

What does Walter White say when he tells a knock-knock joke?

I am the one who Knock-knocks.

Eye Jokes More Eye Jokes

What have 12 legs six eyes three tails and can't see ?

Three blind mice !

What did the carpenter say to the girl he loved?

Oh sweetheart, you are the eye of my maple....

Ketchup Jokes More Ketchup Jokes

What do you tell a slow tomato?

what Ketchup

What is the question most frequently asked by a philosopher?

Would you like ketchup with your chips

Ask Jokes More Ask Jokes

How do I do that?

he asked. "Carefully" replied the vet.

When your boss asks you "do I look stupid to you?

it's a rhetorical question I know this now