Illegal Immigrant Jokes

What's the difference between E.T and illegal immigrants?

E.T actually learned English and wanted to go home.

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Why was the illegal immigrant so offensive?

Because he crossed the line

What do you call a fight between a child molester and an illegal immigrant?

Alien versus Predator.

What Do You Call A Fight Between An Illegal Immigrant And A Child Molester?

Alien vs. Predator

What's the difference between a feminist and an illegal immigrant?

The illegal immigrant knows how to cook.

Where do most illegal immigrants go in America?

Allah-bama.

Why... Can't illegal US immigrants play Uno?

Because they keep stealing all the Green Cards

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Why does Bank of America not have a backspace on the ATM keypad?

Because America is never wrong.

Why does America not have knock knock jokes?

Because freedom rings.

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What's the difference between Beernuts and Deernuts?

Beernuts are $8.95 and Deernuts are under a buck!

What's the difference between a repost and a bullet?

I don't want to put a repost in my mouth

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How do you say nachos in English??

Mine!

Which came first. . . social media or dumb people?

AND which is worse. . . the overdoing of selfies OR not knowing how to use the English language

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How do you communicate with a fish?

Drop him a line.

Why are the avenues in Paris lined with trees?

A:Because Germans like to march in the shade.

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Why can't Emma Watson ever play Hermione Granger again?

Cos once you go black, you never go back.

How'd you get amnesia?

4yo:.. Me:.. 4yo: I don't remember. Me: Well played..

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Why did the feminist refuse to work at the post office?

Because it was a mail dominated industry

How did the feminist die?

Alone

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Why didn't the girl cry after learning of her boyfriend's leprosy diagnosis?

She didn't have a shoulder to cry on!

Why can't Albert Einstein drive?

Because he never learned.

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Why did the dinosaur go to jail?

Because he was a child molester.

What Do You Call A Fight Between An Illegal Immigrant And A Child Molester?

Alien vs. Predator