Improvement Jokes

Why do girls take 45 minutes to get dressed?

The only improvement you can make is getting undressed.

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

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What do you call it when a white man dancing has a seizure?

An improvement.

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Pay Jokes More Pay Jokes

What do you call a gigolo you don't pay?

A Free Willy.

What did the hotel manager say to the elephant that couldn't pay his bill ?

Pack your trunk and clear out !"

Forget Jokes More Forget Jokes

Why can't rappers take holidays?

They always forget Tupac.

What's the difference between talking to your wife after you forgot something and a minefield?

You can actually get through the minefield alive.

Half Jokes More Half Jokes

Why are highly successful people named Mark always so depressed?

Because they can't stop hitting themselves. This joke came to me while I was half asleep this morning. I'm not sure how original it is. I probably heard some variation of it somewhere and have just forgotten. Any suggestions for improving it?

What has 50 legs but cant walk ?

Half a centipede !

Hear Jokes More Hear Jokes

How do you spot a terrorist?

They'll freak out when they hear a helicopter

Why does everyone keep saying the Boston Marathon was a tragedy?

I heard everybody had a blast.

Dress Jokes More Dress Jokes

What's the difference between a formally-dressed man riding a unicycle and a casually-dressed man riding a bicycle?

Attire.

What did the mayonnaise say to the man opening the fridge door?

Don't look. I'm dressing."

Improve Jokes More Improve Jokes

Why is Kevin Hart the opposite of Michael Schumacher?

His life improved after he met the rock.

Why did the mosquito go to the dentist ?

To improve his bite !

Opposite Jokes More Opposite Jokes

What's the opposite of effort?

F it.

Whats the opposite of feminism?

Common sense

Girl Jokes More Girl Jokes

How do you make a girl gain weight?

Marry her.

Why did the girl bring 2 basketballs to the basketball game?

Because there was 2 basketball courts. DUH!