Lollipop Jokes

What do Twitter users and lollipops have in common?

They're mostly Dum Dums.

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Why did the lollipop cross the road?

Cause it was stuck to the chicken. I heard that on the radio today. I LOLed.

Why didn't the little girl finish her lollipop?

She was hit by a bus

What's the worst part about going to the doctor's and finding out you have diabetes?

You don't get a lollipop afterwards :/

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Find Jokes More Find Jokes

Why did the Red sea not find a good husband?

because she was too shallow.

What did one computer say to the other?

Error 404 joke not found.

Hit Jokes More Hit Jokes

Where was the pirate when he was hit in the crotch?

Menard's!

What did the tailor do after she got hit by the lawyer's car?

Sewed him

Road Jokes More Road Jokes

Why didn't the bird cross the road?

It chickened out.

Why did the chicken get run over by a car as it was crossing the road?

To get to the Other side

Bad Jokes More Bad Jokes

What's the worst part of going to a southern family reunion?

Seeing your ex.

What's the worst part about swim-up bars?

The watery stools

Hear Jokes More Hear Jokes

Why did Jared go to a Goat farm?

Why did Jared go to a Goat farm? He heard there was lots of Kids there.

Hey, wanna hear a joke?

Parsing HTML with regex.

Little Girl Jokes More Little Girl Jokes

When I was just a little girl, I asked my mother what will I be. Will I be pretty, will I be rich?

Here's what she said to me: GO TO SLEEP.

When I was just a little girl I asked my mother, what will I be?

Will I be pretty Will I be rich Here's what she said to me No

Twitter Jokes More Twitter Jokes

What do Twitter users and regular humans have in common?

Both start off as eggs.

How much ice does it take to preserve a dead body?

I ask on twitter because googling it gets people caught.

Finish Jokes More Finish Jokes

How can you tell when Ron Jeremy is finished pumping gas?

He pulls out the nozzle and sprays it all over the car!

What did the Los Angeles Lakers finish on tuesday?

Kim Kardashian's face.