Millionaire Jokes

How Does a Woman Make a Man a Millionaire?

When he's a billionaire.

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Why are millionaires bad at swimming?

Because they drown at their own wealth Edit: I got down voted :( I thought of that in my head and just wanted to share it

What do you call a group of millionaires sitting around watching the NBA finals ?

The Lakers . (Laker fan here. Sorry prob would have been more appropriate last week during the finals. ) Edit: I heard this some where the other day. I can't take credit for the joke .

Which country has the most millionaires?

Zimbabwe.

What do you get if you cross a sorceress with a millionaire?

A very witch person.

What's the richest kind of air?

A millionaire.

Why are all the users of Ashley Madison worried about their emails leaking?

They will be millionaires when the Nigerian princes finish downloading the file.

This joke may have profanity.

Who doesn't want to be a millionaire?

Well, certainly not a billionaire.

Who Wants to be a Millionaire Me: I'm stumped. Can I phone a friend?

Host: What's your friend's name Me: Wikipedia.

Who wants to be a Millionaire?

on Zimbabwean TV.

Who Wants to be a Millionaire messes up while reading the question?

A Regis Error.

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What do you get when you cross a rabbit with a millionaire?

A bunny with money.

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What did the puppy say when it sat on sandpaper?

Ruff

When crossing the Delaware River why did George Washington stand up in the boat ?

He was afraid that if he sat down that someone would give him an oar to row !

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What happens if the protesters in Egypt win?

They advance to the finals against Tunisia.

Why didn't Lebron go to college?

he didn't want to show up for the finals

Vote Jokes More Vote Jokes

How are the homeless like votes?

Republicans have them thrown out.

Why don't cows drink milk?

because they lactose I don't know why I found this so funny! ready for the down vote to begin 3

Credit Jokes More Credit Jokes

What's Hillary's favorite pizza place?

Little Seizures Edit: credit to Joe Biggs rambobiggs

Why is a room of 50 doctors safer than a room with 1000 doctors?

You can't survive in 1000 degrees. *credit to my friend Neriah.

Wikipedia Jokes More Wikipedia Jokes

What's the word for interested in something, but not enough to look it up on Wikipedia?

That.

What do you mean I can't change the past?

logs on to Wikipedia*

20 Jokes More 20 Jokes

How do you confuse Pareto?

Tell him you belong to "the" 20%.

What's the best part about dating twenty two year olds?

There are 20 of them.

Dallas Cowboys Jokes More Dallas Cowboys Jokes

How do the Dallas Cowboys spend their first week at spring training?

A: Studying their Miranda Rights.

What do the Dallas Cowboys and the Rev. Billie Graham have in common?

Both can make 70,000 people stand up and shout "JESUS CHRIST!"

Share Jokes More Share Jokes

Why do babies love sticking things in their mouth?

And why doesn't my girlfriend share this impulse?

Why wouldn't the shrimp share his toys?

Because he is a little shellfish.