Musical Instrument Jokes

What do you call someone stealing musical instruments?

A Luter.

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What musical instrument do people with STDs play?

The herpsichord.

What part of a chicken is a musical instrument?

The drumstick. (Had this joke stuck in my head for a while so felt like sharing it.)

What kind of musical instrument do mice play ?

A mouse organ !

What kind of musical instrument can you use for fishing?

The cast-a-net.

What do you call a musical instrument made of gelatin?

A jello!

What musical instrument can be found in nearly every Bathroom?

A tuba toothpaste.

What musical instrument goes with cheese?

Picklelo.

What musical instrument should you never, ever trust?

The Lyre.

What musical instrument is found in the bathroom?

A tuba toothpaste.

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Music Store Jokes More Music Store Jokes

What do ya call a bunch of guys breaking into a music store and helping themselves to the stringed instruments?

A: Luters.

Why doesn't cancer let anyone in a music store?

It doesn't want anyone to find The Cure.

Share Jokes More Share Jokes

Why don't u share a bed?

cried Baby Bear.

Why did the crab hate to share?

He was a little shellfish.

Head Jokes More Head Jokes

What foreplay does the praying mantis girlfriend enjoys ?

Being given head.

What's the difference between spit and swallow?

A firm grip on the back of her head.

Feel Jokes More Feel Jokes

Why did the dolphin feel crabby?

Because he ate too many crabs!

What do you feel like having?

Nothing."

Use Jokes More Use Jokes

How do you estimate your kids lifespan?

Hand them a mechanical pencil with the lead out and see how the use it. Child A: look mom I'm a doctor! - expect them to live to 80+ years. Child B: look mom I'm a heroin user! - expect them to live to about 27.

What does an unborn fetus and a tube of toothpaste have in common?

Neither of them can be used as functional tables.

Steal Jokes More Steal Jokes

Why didn't the blond want to use her phone while using the bathroom?

She was afraid someone would steal her IP address.

Why did the Arabic man ask for her hand in marriage?

Because she stole his heart

Fish Jokes More Fish Jokes

How did one goldfish get the attention of another goldfish?

He yelled, "A u, fish!"

Where does the army keep fish?

In a tank.

Bunch Jokes More Bunch Jokes

What do you get if you cross a bunch of flowers with a burglar ?

Robbery with violets !

What's the difference between a group of pigmies and a lesbian track team?

One of them is a bunch of cunning runts