Bathroom Jokes

What do you call a place where Mexicans go to the bathroom?

A deport-a-potty.

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Why can't you hear a Pterodactyl use a bathroom?

The p is silent.

What does a networking robot say when returning from the bathroom?

Sorry, I http"

Why do girls go to the bathroom in groups?

Hermione went alone and was attacked by a troll

What kind of plants grow in bathrooms?

Toilet trees.

What do French people say after they've gone to the bathroom?

Au revoir poo poo

What did the dance instructor say to her student when the student wanted to use her bathroom?

Skip to my loo.

How many Germans does it take to tile a bathroom?

Only one, if you cut him thin enough.

Why can't you hear pterodactyls go to the bathroom?

Because dinosaurs went extinct 65 million years ago.

What do you say when a corrupt Soviet takes a bathroom break right before war?

Now you're just Stallin.

What do you call the surveillance system that watches us all whilst we are in the bathroom?

the panoptijohn

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What does Justin Timberlake say when he goes to the bathroom?

It's Gonna be Pee"

How do you play the Oscar Pistorius drinking game?

Every time your girlfriend goes to the bathroom, take two shots

How does a police officer go to the bathroom?

Ctrl+C

What did the vowel say when it had to go to the bathroom?

I need to do a vowel movement!

Why didn't the blond want to use her phone while using the bathroom?

She was afraid someone would steal her IP address.

Where do bees go to the bathroom at?

at the

Why did the hipster burn the roof of his mouth?

He ate his pizza before it was cool. (Written anonymously in the bathroom at work, a pizza joint.)

What did the choir teacher say to the student who asked to use the bathroom?

Of chorus.

What do you do in the bathroom if you are trying to waste time?

Stall

Why did no one believe the Psychologist ever went to the bathroom?

Because the 'P' is silent

What do people with aspergers Do in the bathroom?

They take an aspie

What happens when the president of the United States has to use the bathroom?

The state of alert in the White House rises to Defecate 2.

Why can't you hear a pterodactyl going to the bathroom?

Because pterodactyls are extinct.

What does it sound like when a pterodactyl uses the bathroom?

Nothing, the pee is silent

What happens when you go to the bathroom scared?

A spooky dookie.

What's the difference between an Art major and a guy who mops bathrooms at KFC?

One has a job.

Why did Oscar Pistorius shoot his girlfriend in the bathroom?

Because he's one of the few people in World that couldn't kick down the door.

How do old people go to the bathroom?

Depends.

How does Queen Elizabeth win a game of poker?

She goes to the bathroom.

What do you call it when an Asian composer really needs the bathroom?

Rover Flows Out Of You.

Why do girls generally go to the bathroom in groups?

Cause they're a bunch of pussies.

This joke may have profanity.

What do you call it when you meet somebody in a bathroom at a conference?

Pee-er to pee-er networking (P2P).

What was left in the bathroom on the starship Enterprise?

The Captain's Log.

What are you in the bathroom?

European

How was the Irish Jig invented?

To much beer and not enough bathrooms

What do the bathroom doors at the funeral home say?

His and Hearse.

What do you call using Tinder while you are in the bathroom?

A swipe and wipe.

Why do pterodactyls use the bathroom so quietly?

Because their p is quiet.

What bathroom does Roy G. Biv use?

The colored one.

How many men does it take to wallpaper a bathroom?

A. Three if you slice them very thinly.

How did Mummy know you hadn't had a bath?

Eve: I forgot to dirty the towel wet the soap and flood the bathroom.

What does Justin Timberlake say when he's going to the bathroom?

It's Gonna Be Pee"

Why don't you take Pokemon to the bathroom with you?

because they might Pikachu!

What are you when you're in the bathroom?

European

Why don't you want to take a Pokemon into the bathroom?

Because it might Pikachu.

Where do cheeses go to the bathroom?

In a Parma-John.

Where are you going to keep them ?

Stan: In the bathroom Fred: But what will you do when you want to take a bath Stan: Blindfold them !

Where does a vampire take a bath?

In the bat-room (bathroom).

Why are we at Home Depot?

Me: I wanted to see what it's like to pick out bathroom tile with you. See if this is worth it.

Why can't you hear it when a pteranodon goes to the bathroom?

Because they're all dead.

Why do you have a copy of 50 Shades of Grey in your bathroom?

Perv! Me: Oh. No that's just for when I run out of toilet paper.

What kind of bathroom does Napoleon use?

A Waterloo

How long is one minute?

It depends on what side of the bathroom door you're on.

Why can't the porcelain king go to the bathroom?

He was dethroned.

Why did the moron think his girlfriend was into metal?

He found steel wool pads in her bathroom.

Who steals all the soap in the bathroom?

The robber ducky

Why were there balloons in the bathroom?

There was a birthday potty.

How does a mathematician go to the bathroom?

He works it out with a pencil.

What type of key gets you into the bathroom the fastest?

A dookie

How can you tell Voldemort used the bathroom before you?

He leaves a dark mark

Why do teenage girls go to the bathroom in 3s and 5s?

Because they literally can't even.

Where is the bathroom for I.T people located?

At the I pee address.

What musical instrument can be found in nearly every Bathroom?

A tuba toothpaste.

What's the best thing about a swimming pool bar?

There's never a line for the bathroom.

Why do blonde girls go to the bathroom in groups of three?

Because they can't even

What do you get when you throw a hand grenade into a bathroom in France?

Linoleum Blownapart

Which Shampoo They Preferred?

The Top Answers Was: Get The Hell Out Of My Bathroom!

How does Sherlock Holmes go to the bathroom?

OC By process of elimination.

Why did the chicken run around screaming?

Because he had to use the bathroom.

What broke?

opens door* Just wait until I get out there!! parenting from the bathroom

What do you call a group of hoes in a bathroom?

r/showerthoughts

Why was Piglet in the bathroom?

He was looking for Pooh.

Why did the music student have a piano in the bathroom?

Because he was practicing Handel's Water Music.

What do you call a European using the bathroom?

You're-a-peein"

Why did the Mummy go to the bathroom?

A: To wrap itself in toilet paper!

If you're American when you go into the bathroom, and American when you come out, what are you when you're in there?

European

What musical instrument is found in the bathroom?

A tuba toothpaste.

Where do bees go to the bathroom?

The BP station.

Where does batman go to the bathroom?

The batroom.

Why can’t you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom?

The p is silent.

Why did the A go to the bathroom and come out as an E?

Because he had a vowel movement.

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Break Jokes More Break Jokes

Why did the melon break up with her melon boyfriend?

He told her he *can't elope*.

What'd u ask Santa for 6: a speed boat M: like a Lego boat?

6: no M: oh for the bath 6: no M: the pool 6: *doesnt break eye contact* no

Girl Jokes More Girl Jokes

What were you before you came to school boys and girls?

asked the teacher hoping that someone would say "babies." She was disappointed when all the children cried out "Happy!"

What's the difference between a girl that's praying and a girl that's having a bubble bath?

One has hope in her soul, The other has soap in her hole.

War Jokes More War Jokes

Who is the easiest to get a high-five from in a war?

The French. They always have their hands up.

What is a snowman's favorite book ?

War and Frozen Peas !

Deport Jokes More Deport Jokes

What do you call a place where Mexicans go to the bathroom?

A deport-a-potty.

Why are Peruvians always deported?

Because they can't Peruve they're citizens

Attack Jokes More Attack Jokes

What do you call a french man who's been attacked by a bear?

Claude

What's 8 feet tall, covered in fur, and walks around the Himalayas undermining your arguments by attacking your character?

The Adhomineminal Snowman

Plant Jokes More Plant Jokes

What is a ginger author doing when they plant a misleading clue in their book?

Red hairing.

How could that have happened ?

I can't understand it either because I planted cabbage !

Student Jokes More Student Jokes

How can we keep our school Clean?

Student : By Staying at home. :p

What do you call an IT teacher who touches up his students?

A PDF file.

Kind Jokes More Kind Jokes

What kind of movie do mathematicians most often watch?

rated movies

What kind of bread do pig ladles make in the Yukon?

Sow-r dough bread.