Opinion Jokes

What's your opinion on birds?

Well, they're pretty fly if you ask me.

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What's the difference between Pizza and your opinion?

I asked for Pizza #KingOfjokes

What do you get when you mix pie and onions?

Opinions!

What do you call a woman with an opinion?

Wrong.

What did Wiz Khalifa say when he was asked his opinion on the dress?

Yeah, uh huh, you know what it is."

What do the Egyptians call a man who cannot keep his opinions to himself?

IMHOtep

What's your opinion on the mobius strip debate?

I find it a tad one-sided.

When the Little Mermaid became human how did she know how to use a toilet?

BIG-TIME plot hole in my opinion"

What is your opinion on women making 75% of a man's wages for the same job?

I said "Congratulations!!!"

What do you call a Muslim woman with an opinion?

A corpse.

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Know Jokes More Know Jokes

What do you get when einstein jacks off?

a stroke of genius!!!!! (its terrible, i know)

How do you know when you have a good redneck girlfriend?

If she can give you oral with a dip in and know which to swallow and which to spit.

Wiz Khalifa Jokes More Wiz Khalifa Jokes

Why does Wiz Khalifa brush his teeth?

Plaque and yellow, plaque and yellow, plaque and yellow.

What did Wiz Khalifa say when he was asked his opinion on the dress?

Yeah, uh huh, you know what it is."

Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What's the difference between the space shuttle and a 2.5 kiloton bomb?

The crew.

What's the difference between a lima bean and a chickpea?

I've never had a lima bean on my chest

Half Jokes More Half Jokes

Why shouldn't you carry two half dollars in your pocket?

Because two halves make a whole (hole) and you could lose your money.

What's got two legs and bleed a lot?

half-a-dog!

Proctologist Jokes More Proctologist Jokes

Why can't Ben Carson help fix America's problems?

He's a neurosurgeon, not a proctologist.

What do you get when you ask a proctologist for a second opinion?

Two fingers.

Muslim Woman Jokes More Muslim Woman Jokes

How Many Muslim Women Does it Take to Screw In a Light Bulb?

Silly, Muslim Women aren't allowed to screw in light bulbs.

What do you call a Muslim woman with an opinion?

A corpse.

Second Jokes More Second Jokes

Two guys walk into a bar . . .

The first guy says "Ouch!" and the second says "Yeah, I didn't see it either."

How was the movie?

Brian: A real turkey. I could hardly sit through it the second time!

Mirror Jokes More Mirror Jokes

What is the best part about taking a shower?

Not being able to see yourself in the mirror afterward.

Why did the kids tell jokes to the mirror?

They wanted to see it crack up!