Opinion Jokes

What's your opinion on birds?

Well, they're pretty fly if you ask me.

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What's the difference between Pizza and your opinion?

I asked for Pizza #KingOfjokes

What do you get when you mix pie and onions?

Opinions!

What do you call a woman with an opinion?

Wrong.

What did Wiz Khalifa say when he was asked his opinion on the dress?

Yeah, uh huh, you know what it is."

What do the Egyptians call a man who cannot keep his opinions to himself?

IMHOtep

What's your opinion on the mobius strip debate?

I find it a tad one-sided.

When the Little Mermaid became human how did she know how to use a toilet?

BIG-TIME plot hole in my opinion"

What is your opinion on women making 75% of a man's wages for the same job?

I said "Congratulations!!!"

What do you call a Muslim woman with an opinion?

A corpse.

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Muslim Jokes More Muslim Jokes

Why do Muslims hate Reddit?

Haram be everywhere

Why don't Middle Eastern dogs bite as often?

Because they Muslim.

Onion Jokes More Onion Jokes

How would you handle a complaint from a customer?

Applicant: Well that depends, what's the complaint? Interviewer: He's complaining that his burger had onions on it, even though he specifically asked they were to be removed. Applicant: Well I'd start by telling him he's in the retail section.

What's the difference between a saxophone and an onion?

You don't cry when you cut up a saxophone. Happy Saxophone Day Why this musical abomination deserves its own day is beyond me. Edit: beside to beyond

Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What's the difference between Kanye West, an American College student, and a homeless man?

The homeless man has $7 to his name.

What's the difference between Tiger Woods and Princess Diana?

Tiger Woods had a better driver!

Little Mermaid Jokes More Little Mermaid Jokes

Why does the little mermaid wear sea-shells?

She grew out of her b-shells

Why does the Little Mermaid wear seashells?

Because B-shells are too small, and D-shells are too big.

Half Measure Jokes More Half Measure Jokes

What is the difference between the first and last desk of a viola section?

A: Half a measure.

What did Daredevil say after begrudgingly agreeing with The Punisher's brutally honest opinion that he's just a half-measure?

You're such a Frank Castle."

Egyptians Jokes More Egyptians Jokes

What do you call two Egyptians who've farted at the same time?

Tutankhamun.

What were the polite Egyptians running away from?

DaRUDE Sandstorm

Stoner Jokes More Stoner Jokes

Why do stoners love English?

Because it's lit

How do you get a stoner to comprehend what you're saying?

Put it bluntly.

Use Jokes More Use Jokes

What else do you need when you use your Batman shampoo?

Conditioner Gordon.

What does an unborn fetus and a tube of toothpaste have in common?

Neither of them can be used as functional tables.