Ounce Jokes

How do people in other countries tell if kids are using drugs?

Here in the U.S. we just ask them how many grams are in an ounce.

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What is the difference between an ounce of cocaine and an infant?

Eric Clapton would absolutely NEVER let an ounce of cociane fall 49 stories out a window onto the streets of New York.

What's the difference between a baby and an ounce of Coke?

Eric Clapton would never drop an ounce of Coke out of a window

Why was the CEO of Pepsi fired?

They caught him with an ounce of coke in his system.

What's the pound's new name?

The ounce

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Disgrace Jokes More Disgrace Jokes

Why is it good that accordionists have a half-ounce more brains than horses?

A: So they don't disgrace themselves in parades.

What do read heads get when they don't brush their teeth?

Gingervitis Edit: redheads. I am a disgrace.

Coke Jokes More Coke Jokes

Why did the man snort Dr. Pepper?

He thought it was Coke!

Why did the Pepsi executive get fired?

He tested positive for Coke.

49 Jokes More 49 Jokes

Why is Bernie Sanders challenging his 49 vs 50% loss in Iowa?

I thought he didn't care about the 1%

What is the difference between an ounce of cocaine and an infant?

Eric Clapton would absolutely NEVER let an ounce of cociane fall 49 stories out a window onto the streets of New York.

Cocaine Jokes More Cocaine Jokes

What's the difference between a bag of cocaine and a small child?

Eric Clapton would never let a small bag of cocaine fall out of a window.

What do you call a midget that does cocaine?

A low blow

Pepsi Jokes More Pepsi Jokes

Why did the Pepsi executive get fired?

He tested positive for Coke.

Why was the Pepsi crying while lifting weights?

Because he was soda-pressing

Fire Jokes More Fire Jokes

What do you get when Steve Jobs hires and fires a lot of people in six months?

A: An Apple turnover.

What does the commander say to the firing squad when they go camping?

Ready, aim, make the FIRE!

Street Jokes More Street Jokes

What do they call the pun masters of the streets?

Punksters

Why didn't the police shoot the polarbear who was wandering peacefully around the streets?

Because he was white.

Use Jokes More Use Jokes

What type of transporter does Mr. Scott use?

A Beemer.

What do you use to find Greek restaurants?

A gyroscope.