Pit Jokes

What did the elephant say?

What did the elephant say when it was pulled out of a pit by the Balls? Thank you Mr. and Mrs. Ball!

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What happened to the two gladiator olives?

They were pitted against each other

Why don't people from Yorkshire use deodorant?

Because they have no pits.

Why doesn't Angelina Jolie like peaches?

Because of the "Pit"

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Dog Jokes More Dog Jokes

How did the dog feel when he lost his flashlight?

Delighted.

What's the difference between a priest and his dog?

One wears pants and a collar while the other wears a collar and pants.

Pull Jokes More Pull Jokes

Why didn't the patient sue the dentist for pulling the wrong tooth?

Because it was accidental.

What do you think of wearing a straight jacket?

I think I could pull it off

Kid Jokes More Kid Jokes

How do you estimate your kids lifespan?

Hand them a mechanical pencil with the lead out and see how the use it. Child A: look mom I'm a doctor! - expect them to live to 80+ years. Child B: look mom I'm a heroin user! - expect them to live to about 27.

What's the difference between Jared Fogle's divorce and other divorces?

Most married couples tried to stay together FOR the kids. Not divorce because of them.

Happy Pit Bull Jokes More Happy Pit Bull Jokes

What has 4 legs and an arm?

A happy pit bull.

What has four legs and an arm?

A happy pit bull.

Throw Jokes More Throw Jokes

What is a wok?

Something you throw at wabbits when you haven't got your wifle.

Why did Greenpeace throw Wolf Blitzer in the ocean?

they wanted to restore the CNNomies

Cross Jokes More Cross Jokes

What do you get when you cross an English bulldog and a Shih Tzu?

A bull-shiht!

What do you get if you cross a frog with a decathlete?

Someone who pole-vaults without a pole.

Fall Jokes More Fall Jokes

What did you hear about the man who fell into the upholstery machine...?

I heard that he was fully re-covered.

What's the difference between a 4 year old and a bag of cocaine?

Eric Clapton would never let a bag of cocaine fall out of a window. Too soon

Arm Jokes More Arm Jokes

How are you doing this morning?

Me: *finishing hanging bag of coffee upside down like an IV and tying my arm off* Fine, you

What has five arms, three legs and a head?

The finish line at the Boston Marathon