Profanity Jokes

Why does Oedipus hate profanity?

He kisses his mother with that mouth.

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What is the most used language in programming?

Profanity.

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Swear Jokes More Swear Jokes

What does FTFY even mean?

I swear to god people abuse acronyms so much.

What do you call a an Egyptian crocodile who swears they live in Florida?

In da-Nile

Mouth Jokes More Mouth Jokes

What has a mouth but no teeth?

A: A river.

What if sharks hug with their mouths?

Just sayin.

Power Jokes More Power Jokes

Why did the lawyer with a torn ACL still win the marathon?

OC) Because he had the power of a torn knee

What do you call a rocket-powered car?

An Otto-mobile

Use Jokes More Use Jokes

What products do I use for grooming?

She was a bit taken aback when I replied, "Facebook."

What do Spiderman and I have in common?

We both end up with sticky hands after using the web.

Language Jokes More Language Jokes

What language do UPS men at Hogwarts speak?

Parcel-tongue

What language do they speak in Holland?

Hollandaise.

Oedipus Jokes More Oedipus Jokes

Why is Oedipus against swearing?

He kisses his mother with that mouth!

Why does Oedipus hate profanity?

He kisses his mother with that mouth.

Mother Jokes More Mother Jokes

What excuse did Adam give to his children as to why he no longer lived in Eden?

A. Your mother ate us out of house and home.

How do you get Sigmund Freud to screw a lightbulb?

Tell him the lightbulb is his mother.

Hate Jokes More Hate Jokes

Why do kids hate Steven Hawking?

They don't like their vegetables.

Why do Storm Troopers like churchs?

Cuz of all the pews. I hate myself